How are you doing?

Kids OK?

Thinking about you.

Pep

bumpity bump ^^^^^

Hi Pepper,
Thanks for thinking about me! We are doing OK. We all have our ups and downs, but mostly ups! The past few weeks have been a little rough w/ Val's birthday (she is the one who lives with WH and OW) and OW decided to throw her a birthday party. Ughhhh!! Well, she invited all of my husband's family and none of them went! I felt so bad for Val, but she insists that she understands why they didn't come and doesn't feel badly. Later on in the evening her friends were invited over for a "friends" party and she had a blast at that, so I guess that overshadowed the "family" party.

Charlene is doing great at school, but misses being home. She may transfer to a college closer to us. I think it would be good for her to know that she come home for the afternoon or evening if she wanted to. It would be good for me too! I miss her so much!!

Vincent is also doing great. He is getting good grades in school, has a girlfriend at his new school and is making friends. He also has a car so he can go down to Mass to see his old friends too. He seems happy and that is all I can hope for at this point.

As for me, I am doing Ok. This is such a hard time of year. All I keep thinking about is them being together Christmas morning. But, as long as my kids are with me Christmas morning, I know I will get through it! I am working part time at Sears so that is getting me out of the house and is keeping me very busy!

Thanks again Pepper for thinking of me! It means a lot to me!
BH

ok, should I pretend like I am not SO HAPPY that your WS' family did not show or should I shed a tear for Julie? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I love it!! Sounds like you are doing much better, BH. How do you like the new job?

BH: edited to say that I misread and didn't realize the party was for your daughter, but thought it was for Julie! In that case, thats too bad that Val had to pay for what was probably their aversion to Julie.

<small>[ December 14, 2002, 09:09 AM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>

Hi BH,

Think of their Christmas morning this way .... they will both more than likely have nasty hang-overs and look at each other with their bad breath and say "Merry whatever" ....

Then they'll go throw up (dry heaves) and go back to bed. How special.

I've been told, and I know it to be true, that we (BS) always imagine things to be so "NIRVANNA" with our wayward spouses and the OP, when in reality it's far from what's really going on.

Be glad you are not in that mess, BH. They have so many issues, and tick tock goes their affair-death clock.

You have us, and we love you. So stay strong, hon.

Holiday hugs to you,
Jo

Remember this ... sin does NOT bring deep and lasting joy.

It is as if they have purchased their relationship with a credit card that charges an astronomical interest rate. They are not yet aware of their actual "charges". "No payments until June 2003" ... then, it gets ugly.

They'll have bills to pay BH. This is one costly relationship.

Peace to you.

Pepper <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Thanks everyone!

ML - You're right, it is too bad that Val had to pay. I am really angry about the whole thing. Ralph and Julie know how his family feels about them living together and they also knew that most of them would not come to a party at their house for any reason! This is just one more thing to add to the list of things they have done to hurt one of my kids! I just wish Val would get out of there, but that won't happen for quite a while. One thing I forgot to mention (just because it is sooooo bizarre that I don't know if anyone could believe it!!)
....Julie wanted to invite ME to the party too!!
Luckily, Val talked her out of it. SHE IS SO WACKED!!!

Jo - Thanks for the visual!! LOL! Even though I know what you are saying is true, sometimes it is so hard to remember that. I keep trying to push the thought of them together out of my mind, but when I least expect it, the image pops into my head. Last year around this time, I saw him jumping over the fence into her yard, saw his car parked all over the neighborhood, etc., etc., and my MB friends were there for me every step of the way. I will never forget how you helped me through one of the most traumatic times of my life. I love you guys too and thank you for always taking the time to help me through the tough times and rejoicing with me in the good times.

Pepper - What a great analagy!! You always have such a great way of putting things into perspective! I really appreciate you thinking about me and your concern. I really don't know what I would do with my MB friends!

Thanks again guys...you all make me feel so much better!
BH

You are very welcome, I had so many people help me with my traumas too, hon. It's so hard.

I still have the images you mentioned show up univited in my head. But do know that they show up less and less as time passes as we find our own happiness. You will be okay .... I promise you will.

The Holidays are hard for everyone here, all the triggers of Christmas past haunt us all a bit. Just know you are not alone when you feel down.

You are a very dear person, BH. Truly.

Jo

bh,

Glad to see that you are doing well and staying strong.

I too let myself wonder about "them" and I want to throw up!!!

But I have a different vision for Christmas, he is coming to see the kids on the 19th and thinks that he is leaving on the 24th. I am hoping that we have a storm before he leaves so that he gets snowed in and that his cell phone gets lost and she has to call my house to look for him and I can choose not to answer the phone!!! selfish I know!!! But I can think the thoughts, I don't have to act upon them!!! Would probably shake her world some!

Have a great holiday season.

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Glad to read that you're okay. Also great news about your new job, too! This is the busiest shopping time of year and what a great way for you to keep busy and productive!

Your kids are spreading their wings but it sounds like they are working their way back to you regardless...

You will enjoy a happy holiday season. Just keep focused on the true meaning--I have to keep reminding myself too! It's all about Christ and His love for us. He will keep you. (((hugs)))

Thanks Jo! You are one of the nicest people I don't know! LOL!! Seriously, I feel like I do know you even though we have never met. You always have such wonderful advice and such a calming way about you. Thanks so much for all of your help and your kind words!

Hi Dawn! Hope you are doing OK! Thanks for the message and I hope your Christmas vision comes true for you! I bet it would shake her world a lot! LOL! Take care my dear and hang in there.. we will get through this! My daughter now tells me she is giong to spend Christmas eve with at Julie's parent's house!! I can't stand it!! I feel like she is abandoning us...I know she is just doing what she feels she needs to do but I can help feeling abandoned too. Well, take care Dawn! How have you been doing? Are you feeling OK?

BTDT - You are so right! I have to remember the true meaning of this special holiday. Sometimes I forget but I am trying to keep things in perspective and remember the importance of this season. My kids are definately spreading their wings. Sometimes I feel like they are working their way back, but then something happens (like spending Christmas Eve w/ Julies parents) and it sends me into a whirl again. Thanks for responding BTDT and HUGS to you too!

BH