i am loving this- i have good tears for a change!!!!!!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by worthatry:
<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Resilient:
<strong>Ummm, you know what LoveHerStill, a bunch of those I can do too.

So, Bllllllltttttttttt! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OK, Jo, so PLLLLEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEE tell us again how you used your car jack on your bed? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">K .... here's the story.

Needed to move a new enormous area rug under my big heavy four poster bed, BY MYSELF.

Grabbed my new unused car jack and jacked up one side of the bed at a time, then slipped and unrolled the rug beneath it. It worked beautifully.

I Rock.

Resilient-

I LOVE that you did that. You do rock!!!

Regards-
TheStorm

UNCLE! UNCLE! I surrender!

Storm, that was very good. And thanks again, Jo. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

WAT

I call this a notable post/thread!!! CSue

Wortharty-

No, no don't surrender; the fight is much more fun! It was fun, you are a "wortharty" opponent (ok, groans from the cheap seats, I know...lol)

It's nice to work on the light side of life for awhile.

Some more useless info floating around the net

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks,
interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists... Two men and a
woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large
metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your
instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will
find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!" The man said, "You can't be
serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went
into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out
with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said,
"You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to
kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard,
one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.
After a few minutes, all was quiet.The door opened slowly and there stood
the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, "This gun is loaded
with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair."

Moral: Women are evil. Don't mess with them

LMAO!

You're a meanie Oswald. A REAL meanie.

This will make the women mad, but here goes:

I'm walking down an alley and I have a gun with two bullets. At the end of the alley I come across Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden and my W.
What do I do?

I shoot my W twice.

(Just kidding ladies!!!!!)

sad dad

Loveherstill posted his list of why it's great to be a guy. Well, her's my list of why it sucks to be a guy (not as long):

1. we are expected to be mind readers

2. by gender, we are assumed to be the lesser parent

3. we can't have children (bet there are a few women willing to trades places with us)

4. we make more money for doing the same job, which means we have more to lose

5. we are supposed to "explore" our feminine side

6. a stay-at-home-mom is well respected, but a stay-at-home-dad is ridiculed

7. as loverherstill said, the garage is all ours, but the house is all hers

8. we have two emotions, happy (when our team is winning) and sad (when our team is losing)

9. we have to put the seat down when we're finished, but women don't have to put it up when they are

10. a man who wants custody of his children is "fighting" for them, but a woman who wants her children is doing what's expected

11. we are expected to cuddle after sex, even if Sportscenter is on

C'mon guys, I'm sure you can think of more.

sad dad

Resilient,
If you thought that one was mean get a load of this one.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> (All in fun of course)

ADAM'S FIRST MISTAKE

So...after Adam was created, there he was in the Garden of Eden. Of course it wasn't good for hime to be all by himself, so the Lord came down to visit.

"Adam," He said, "I have a plan to make you much, much happier. I'm going to give you a companion, a helpmate for you, someone who will fulfill your every need and desire. Someone who will be faithful, loving, and obedient. Someone who will make you feel wonderful every day of your life."

Adam was stunned. "That sounds incredible."

"Well, it is," replied the Lord. "But it doesn't come for free. In fact this is someone so special that it's going to cost and arm and a leg."

"That's a pretty high price to pay," said Adam. "What can I get for a rib?"

oswald,

I usually just lurk here but your post definately deserves a response.

You got what you bargained for. It figures right in there with guys always being cheap! HA, what did you expect the lord to give you for the bargain basment price of a rib anyway?

oswald,

I usually just lurk here but your post definately deserves a response.

You got what you bargained for. It figures right in there with guys always being cheap! HA, what did you expect the lord to give you for the bargain basment price of a rib anyway? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

opps, sorry for the double post.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by oswald:
I'm going to give you a companion, a helpmate for you, someone who will fulfill your every need and desire. Someone who will be faithful, loving, and obedient. Someone who will make you feel wonderful every day of your life."</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oswald, Oswald, Oswald .... ughhhhhh <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"That's a pretty high price to pay," said Adam. "What can I get for a rib?"</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">At least Adam had a choice .... did anyone ever ask us???

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by oswald:
<strong>Some more useless info floating around the net

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks,
interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists... Two men and a
woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large
metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your
instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will
find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!!!" The man said, "You can't be
serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went
into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out
with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said,
"You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to
kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard,
one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.
After a few minutes, all was quiet.The door opened slowly and there stood
the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, "This gun is loaded
with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair."

Moral: Women are evil. Don't mess with them</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OOOhhh Oswald, you are giving us baaaad ideas!!! LOL!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

This thread is way too funny. Why am I not surprised it originated with WAT?!?!?!??
This is not the 1st time he as 'dared' the ladies here!! LOL! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L.

Ok just one more, I couldn't resist.

Remember I didn't make'em up I'm just sharing.

A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs.

She went downstairs and looked all around, still not finding her husband. Listening again, she could definitely hear moaning. She went down to the basement to find her husband, crouched in the corner facing the wall, sobbing.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked him.

"Remember when your father caught us fooling around when you were 16?" he replied. "And remember, he said, I had two choices: I could either marry you, or spend the next 20 years in prison."

Baffled, she said, "yes, I remember. So?"

"I would have gotten out today."

That was SOOOO bad, Oswald.

I'm thinking .................. you're not getting away with this.

<small>[ December 16, 2002, 01:58 PM: Message edited by: Resilient ]</small>