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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 13
A
Junior Member
Junior Member
A Offline
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 13
Well, just when I thought I finally had faced the fact that I was going to move on with my life, he starts with his fence riding. Sometimes I think that can be the most frustrating part of this whole mess. We spoke on the phone Sat, Sun, Mon and Tues. Remember he left on Sat. Once it was that he was just waiting to file for divorce, then another night it was I have alot of issues about me that I need to work out before we can ever work on our M. I went to his commander and told about the A. I decided I wanted to truth out, but not to ruin his career. It's already tarnished for the rest of the time we are in Germany anyways. When I saw him that day (Tues), he looked awful. I had never seen him look as rough as he did. His commander said he can only allow him to live in temp quarters for 30 days ( military BS) and that we needed to find some sort of solution for this. My H told me that he wanted to go see the MC that day and he did. He called me later that night and said that basically he felt like he had been told to do the right thing, but he didn't know what the right thing to do was. So, he said he needed 1 week to himself to sort out his thoughts and feelings. I was very supportive of this and told him that I will stand by him and be there if he needs me. He said he was angry about everything that happened with his commander, but not necessarily at me because he understood why I did it. I'm trying not to take this personally and I think with time he will get over it. I kind of feel like it was a major LB, but at the same time the A needed to be completed opened up to the light of day. His commander gave him a "lawful order" not to contact the OW (she's military too). My H said he had already decided to stop contact. I'm trying not to hold me breath, because I think that will make it hurt all the more if the results aren't good in a week. I'm not really even sure what he is "deciding" during this time. I guess because I really thought he had already decided. I've already told myself that if he decides he wants to work on the M that I'm not letting him come back (unless I'm forced too) until I see an effort being made on his part. I feel like I've made my effort, now it's his turn. Any words of wisdom to help me through this next week. It really sucks because my b-day is on Friday too. And it looks like it will be a Xmas for just me and the dogs as I'm not going home and all my family is in the states and most of my friends are going home to be with their families. But, I'm strong and somehow, someway I'll survive.

Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 21
J
Junior Member
Junior Member
J Offline
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 21
ac6231 I feel for you, I cannot say I have any advice for you since I am going through the same exact thing right now. I am desperate for answers and I am not sure I will ever get any.

I found out that after 4 months of marriage my H started cheating on me. He decided he wanted to work on things, but never really made an effort. Nothing ever seemed genuine. Well now here we are 6 months later and things are not any better. I asked him to go to counseling and we went once and it did not go well and now he won't go back. I know that there is something to be saved. We were happy, we hardly fought, we have same goals in life, we want the same things for our future, we have activities we do together. I never saw this coming.

He told me last night that he is moving out on Friday. I don't know what to do. I have never been alone. We have been together for so long (9years)I am not sure how to be without him. I cannot bare the thought of coming home to an empty house, or waking up and him not being there. How do you stay strong by yourself? Especially with the holiday coming up. Most of my family is out of state and the family I have here, is too supportive. I know that sounds crazy, but some times they try just too hard and it makes things so uncomfortable.

He says that he will stay in contact with me and we can still go out (date night). I suppose that is a start. I just cannot believe he feels he has to move out in order for us to finally give things a true chance. I just hope that is what we are doing. I am so afraid that once he walks out that door that he will not come back.

Well I am sorry I didn't have any advice, but if you have any words of wisdom please feel free to share. Thanks


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