My wife and I have been married for nearly 9 years, together for nearly 15. About 5 years into our marriage I brought up the subject of swinging. It both excited me, and I thought it would be a way for my wife to achieve the satisfaction I wasn't giving her. We have tried it a few times with different people. I thought everything was OK, she would get extremely excited when it happened, and said she felt it made us closer together.
For me it hurt emotionally, but I learned to change my hurt into excitement so she could continue to achieve the enjoyment I thought she wanted.
Recently we had relations with friends of ours. We both remarked how nice it was that we had friends we could be completely open and honest with. We always said openness and honesty was the only way to go,and the only way this arrangement would work.
Four days ago she told me she no longer loved me the way she should. She says she loves me like a friend, and has felt this way for a couple of years. She wants to leave, she says it's because I "Gave Her Away" and she doesn't feel like I am happy with her as a wife. She says it has nothing to do with anyone in particular, she doesn't want sex anymore, she says when she has sex she feels like a whore.
She says she has no feelings for me romantically, or emotionally other than friendly emotions. But sometimes when we have deep discussions and we talk about our problems she cries. She says it's because she knows she's hurting me. She hasn't left, we still sleep in the same bed, she still hugs me, holds my hand and tells me she loves me. The only thing that has changed since she told me is she now sleeps in PJ's (She never did before) and says because I now know that sex is out of the question.
I'm confused. Does she still love me? Is this a way for her to get back at me for hurting her so bad? Is there hope for our marriage? I need help, advise, guidance, anything.....
TM1994