Well my WW didn't go yesterday to see the lawyer she made an appointment with. Said she was going on her day off instead. I have a feeling she won't go then either. I talked to her last night for a bit. She said thank you for being a friend and not being so pushy about her coming home. She said she talked to OM wife. OM wife told my WW that she should get used to OM not working. He never did work for more than 6 months at a time and he never made much. The reason my WW talked to her was because OM had left and his wife was trying to get a hold of him. She was after some child support. OM did get a job. He is working for a temp agency until he leaves for the military. WW told me there is a chance that we could spend the holidays as a family. I'm not holding my breath. I think there may be another OM involved now. She has been talking to several guys online. I saw her e-mails. nothing seems to indicate she is involved with any of them but she may. We havn't talked about divorce now for a few days and she still has been putting off coming to get the rest of her stuff from the house like she says she wants to. I hope I can have a family christmas. I hope she wants to get help for her problems and I hope she still wants to work on us.

well here is my update. Something odd happened last night. Well it actually started in the afternoon. My sister ran into my WW at her work. My sister told her nobody hated her and my entire family wanted her to come home. I was surprised. It had an affect on my WW. She tells me later that she still loves me and wants to be a family but she has to work things out first. I told her I will help her work things out. I hope she really thinks things through because OM is doing m ajor LBing right now. I think my WW is missing home a whole lot right now.

Where are you at with filing? I would reconsider until you have had a chance to see this all the way through a Plan B.

From reading your posts over the last few weeks you have gone from not wanting to end plan A to telling your W you are going to file.

I may be wrong but your love bank is lower than you think. Sort of like when a gas gauge reads a 1/4 of a tank on the interstate and then you pull off at a rest stop and the next thing you know it is reading near empty. (Maybe I have a weird car)

What do others think here? Take care.

Why do you fear plan B? It is essentially a love letter explaining that you still love her very much and wish with all your heart that she will come back to rebuild the M, but for the time being in order to protect your love for her you need to not have any talks with her that are not related to your child BUT you will be willing to talk to her if she really DOES want to come back. What's so scary about that?

Downward spiral today. I fear plan B because I get so close to her in plan A and I think it's all going to work out. She wants me there for her at times and not at others. I think I'm in a losing battle.

Sorry I hit add reply by accident. Anyways on with my problems today. I went by her work with our daughter before taking her to my MIL. She seemed happy to see me and we talked like old friends not saying much about us at all. It was really nice. I then took my daughter to my MIL picked up some lunch for my WW and I and went back. We ate and she thanked me for the food. We talked and laughed. I havn't laughed in a very long time. I went home because my WW asked me to. It's like she doesn't want to find herself loving me too much. She called later and said she was scared of getting robbed. I went straight over to her work all concerned for her. OM wasn't concerned at all and only wanted to know how long I had been there. I helped her with a few things and then she about killed me. Shje told me she didn't want me to come around anymore unless she called. She didn't want me to talk to her unless it was about our daughter. She put me into a plan B. It tore me up that she would tell me this. She is talking to another guy now. I heard her on the phone by accident. I am feeling so lonly right now. I feel hurt and not loved at all. thank god I have family to support me.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by wrngler:
Downward spiral today. I fear plan B because I get so close to her in plan A and I think it's all going to work out. She wants me there for her at times and not at others.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Plan A's purpose is to negotiate an end to the A, and so far I haven't seen any evidence that she wants to end her A. And why should she? she's got you to fulfill some EN's and OM to fill the others and so she doesn't want to rely on you to fulfill all of them. She's a cake walker and will continue to be one until you stop fulfilling the EN's OM can't fulfill. At this rate your love bank for her will be foreclosed and then it's going to be too late if she finally wakes up and decides to come back to you (you are already contemplating divorce). But it's your call.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think I'm in a losing battle.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">These last words say it all as far as why you should be in plan B.

wrngler
I agree with TMCM you should be doing Plan B. Give Plan B a chance before pushing for a D. Work on youself, give yourself time to reflect. You will not be able to do that objectively if you maintain contact with WS.
Plan B is hard - I know because that is where I am at, but it must be far more painful doing what you are doing right now.
NS