Here's a good one for all you experts. Lord knows I can't seem to think for myself anymore.

H (he the WS) was a person who took off for a few days sparodically (before, during and after A). I have a HARD time with the idea of him going out of town (overnight) without me.

This is not work related. He believes that we need to give each other some space etc. After his A I could care less if he never spends a night away from me. It's not like I never do it myself. Mine is usually family oriented, his is not. He's always encouraging me to go.

For example, a friend complained that she couldn't find any female friend to go skiing with her. When I mentioned it to my H, he tells me emphatically "Why don't you go?"

Why not go? Because I would rather go with him. Yet he doesn't feel the same way.

Am I being too controlling, asking too much if I were to say "I don't feel that being away from each other at night, (when it's not job related) is good for the marriage and I don't want it.

He does not believe that this is any way harmful. Sheesh,

Let me know what you think, he has a way of making me feel "wrong" about how I feel. I know you have to give each other "a certain amount of freedom" but when is enough enough, or too much too much?

If you are asking, them I am going to tell ya what I think...

I would much rather spend time with my wife. According to the experts here, that is what we are all suppose to desire. They also say, this sort of option usually indicates something is not right. I would have my bag packed and either following him next time, or jump in the car as to surprise him and see what you get..a happy face that your decided to come along, or a pissed off look because you just screwed up his plan to be with someone else.

Yep, I gotta agree with you. You know "following" later is an idea. Can't hurt, and it may well ease my lingering doubts.

Thanks for the reply

k9love,

I hardly think all these seperate activities do much to reassure you and I would let him know that. You didn't get married to go off and do things seperately, but to be a team that lives and plays together.