Hi All,

Here is my situation, My WW 1st mentioned problems in our marriage on 7/02, it degraded rapidly even with all my attempts at reconciliation until she demanded a divorce in 9/02.

We signed the papers in Oct/02 & I moved out in Nov/02. OM moved in with wife the day after I left!!

I left her a letter (not quite Plan B since I only recently found this site) saying that I would wait for her for a year no matter what has happened in our lives, she had previously denied any affair existed.

She still has not admitted any affair to her family & no one has been over to the house to check on her (for fear of catching her in a lie, I guess, who knows?). But the question I have to ask is this:

She has asked her Sister in Law (the only member of the family she is currently associating with) as well as a mutual friend we have (but she doesn't know I am also in contact with this friend) whether it was at all possible that I could actually mean what I said in the letter regarding being willing to start fresh again.

Does this present some glimmer of hope that we could get back together or am I seeing something that just isn't there?

I appreciate all of your responses no matter how harsh they may be. I am still trying to find a clear path to move my life forward.

Thanks!!

Hello LS28. I hate to say this, but welcome to MB. I am by no means one of the GWO's of this site (that would be Great Wise Ones), but here's my .02$. Absotively, posolutely. It sounds like there is very much a glimmer of hope. I can't tell you what to do with it, I'll leave that to the GWO's. Is there anyone that does know of the A? I know you may not want to hear this, but I am an advocate for telling. The Harley's say that anything short of putting it on the 5 o'clock news is acceptable. IMVHO, I would go ahead and put it on the news, put an ad in the paper, and maybe even buy infomercial time (jk). I don't know your whole story, that may provide some more insight for you to receive better/more advice. To me it sounds possible that she realized she made a mistake but thought it was too late and decided to go ahead with R with OM. Then again, maybe not. Oy, welcome friend. Wish I could have met you on the subway or something other than here, but welcome.

Hi M_T_D,

Thanks for your supporting words. I have told most everyone of her family members, but they have a very fractured family structure & no one seems to want to get involved.

I am preparing myself gradually for the ultimate ending......that we will never be together again. I do still love her with all my heart but have to prepare myself on a future without her.

I only ask this question because it is human nature to have hope I guess.

Any other insights out there would be appreciated!!

LostSoul-

It sounds to me like you've still got time to save your marriage if that's what you want. I've seen stats posted on these forums that point out the vast majority of A's die out within 12 - 18 months(?). Good luck!

Hi M_T_D & Litchfield, again, thanks for your supporting words.

My STBXW & I had agreed not to have any contact with each other since we signed the divorce agreement & I no longer have any contact numbers for her. I know in a way I might have overreacted to the situation by initiating no contact, but it was the only thing I could see to help my healing process sooner.

It wasn't until I moved out of the house that the OM was confirmed. we had a nice long talk about 2 weeks ago where we were both emotional but ultimately she asked me not to wait for her since she didn't know where the path she was taking was headed.

All this makes it likely that there is no hope of us getting back together ever again but it was a few days later that she asked her sister-in-law & friend the question of whether a BS could actually overlook in her words "Anything that could happen within the 1 year" period.

I'm sorry I have rambled on for a little while here now but I truly do still have a strong love for her but yet at the same time do not want to prolong this emotional rollercoaster if I am trying to hang on to something that isn't there.

May we all find peace in our hearts & take care!!!

LS28, I think there is a glimmer, however, you must get on with the business of living your life as if she is not comming back. I know just how difficult this is since I too am trying to hold on to glimmers of hope. Improve yourself, show her the confident and secure man she fell in love with. This to is difficult particularly now that she has a live-in OM. You need to show her that you are the better choice and you can do that by moving on and being yourself, avioding LB and OR talk.

Yes PMiller, I have already begun the process of reclaiming my life. Only at times these thoughts sneak back into your head & heart.

As much as I was denying the truth the last 2 months, ultimately I am slowly accepting the fact that she will not return & give us a chance to re-build our relationship. Only time will allow me to heal but I needed to know I wasn't grasping for hope when none was there.

Thanks!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />