For the most part.I have seen him occasionally at work when I have to pick H up. But tonight was the first time I saw him in public and had to deal with 'ignoring him', or so I like to think of it. It was a unit sponsored free movie at the base theater. As we were walking down to the seats,( its huge btw) I stopped and turned around. I saw him behind us, but I did not make eye contact, and I am hoping like hell that my H did not notice that I saw him. I did notice he had stopped as well and appeared to be waiting for us to move and then he did sit in another part of the theater.

I found it wasn't hard to not look for him ,or look at him. When I turned to speak to my son I could see him and I would be lying to admit it hurt that he wasn't looking at me. I know, like I should care, but really ,it hurt me because it was like a reminder that he never really cared about me and I was so stupid to do what I did.I felt used and not very attractive, like he only wanted me cause I was an easy screw, not someone he cared about.

But after that initial few glances I found it much easier to just relax and forget about it. Unfortuantely H was quite uptight, i know at that time he must have seen OM there. I wanted to cuddle with him but got the " you don't have to do that".

Actually He was nasty all day, I think he was thinking about tonight anticipating it.He said a few hurtful things.We had an argument about some EN things and he said accusingly at one point" Are you going to look for it somewhere else now? I found that a bit hard to swallow and hurt me alot. Right before we went to the movies we were discussing our cat. We were going to let someone from his work take him for a few weeks before we left for Yuma AZ( next duty station). We sorta decided not too, because he has a few medical conditions , and maybe something wrong with his brain. H laughed and said I reminded him of the cat. I said "oh why cause I am a freak?" Nope he said" I was just letting someone at work try you out for a few weeks to see it I wanted to take you to Yuma with me or not".Again very hurtful thing that he said.

So anyways, H seems to be upset about seeing OM , but I felt ok about it, I felt like it was ok, it was better, I was better.But when h trows out LB like that its hard not to stay into thoughts of someone who would not say those things to me.

Hi E

Just wanted to give you a hug
((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))

Im a WS too. I think the comment your H made regarding you and the cat was heartless. Sorry but really. That was very mean. Sorry you had to hear that. I guess he feels making light of what happens, doesn't make it so bad. I think that makes it worse. Nothing funny about what happened.

Good to hear you are being strong. Don't even think about the OM. Nothing positive came from that mess. Think about YOU and work on YOU.

Let me know if I can be of any help.
Zoey

Hi euphoria,

Just wanted to give you my opinion because it might make you feel a little better.

If I were the one who made the two comments that your H made, the first one would have been an unintentional LB--as in it being a crappy way of asking you if he could depend on you that night even though he was nasty to you that day (I think you're right that it was because he was anticipating that night). If I had made the second comment, it would have been because I felt better enough to try to joke about it to lighten up a bit, especially in anticipation of the night and not wanting it to be taken over by OM crap.

I really don't think these were intentional LB's. In fact, I cracked up at the second comment and saw it as a positive thing for your FBH and not against you personally at all. (Btw, I've made jokes much worse than that one--but even bad humor gets points for the attempt, right?)

Hope this made sense.