Well it's day 6 since after dinner one nite, while pressuring my wife to tell me why she's been acting so depressed lately, she tells me she' not in love with me anymore and thinks she wants a divorce. I've discovered through this website and others given to me by people on this discussion board that I have a "walk away wife". I've been absolutely devestated. I didn't know things had gotten so bad. Sure we had minor issues that I though everyone had but nothing serious.
On day two I found MB and was slightly ecouraged that this marriage could be saved, even though my wife was very withdrawn and didn't want to talk about saving it or even what got us here in the first place. I set out immediately to try and make her life with me a pleasant as possible and to try and get her to open up to me. That went on untill day 5 when through further suggestions here and reshearch I found that I may be pushing her further away by smothering her with attention and trying to make her talk when she wasn't ready.
The afternoon of day 5 I decided to try the 180 approach. Even though I had tried to get my wife to talk that morning and hugged her and told her I loved her before she left, I tried a different approach when she got home that evening. I didn't hug her when she walked in the door or say I love you. I just said hi.
In the meantime I've been trying to take away any distraction or unpleasant tasks that she had previously done (by herself by the way). Like dishes and cleaning, you know, all the little things you just take for granted.
So she gets home and says to me, do I want to go christmas shopping. I say "If you like me to go with you I'd enjoy that." So we get in the car and go. She's seems like she's having fun, smiling and goofing around with me like we used to do every day. I tried to always smile back and not seem depressed (not like the first four days). It was very hard for me and I'm not sure I was very convincing. When we got home I thanked her for spending her evening with me and she thanked me in return for going shopping with her (something that I normally wouldn't do).
This all may sound good to you people. I don't know. I'm so messed up right now and confused. (Called to make an appointment with MB though so hopefully that will help, even though she refused to join me) How can one minute she tell me that there's nothing there when she looks at me anymore and then go out with me and act like she's enjoying my company and she's happy? Is this progress or is she just passing the time with me in a pleasant manner before she leaves? AM I making love bank deposits? Why would she want to go out shopping with me after she told me she needs to get away from me and be alone? She's told me there's nothing we can do to make things better and she doesn't want to try and make things better. This behaviour is very confusing.
Well like I said it's day 6 and I'm going to keep trying to put on a good attitude and make her life with me very pleasant. She hasn't mentioned any concrete plans to move out so I think I have at least a few weeks with her still. This is so hard. I'm a mess. I just hope I'm doing the right things to win her back.
There's no affair involed. She swears to me and I trust her. I have a suspision that there may be a friend counselling her to leave though if she's not happy. This is unconfirmed though so I don't want to say anything.
I guess what I want to know is if any of you think this sounds encouraging and if you have any more suggestions.
Thanks
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