<small>[ January 07, 2003, 04:21 AM: Message edited by: Baby Blue ]</small>

Hi Baby,

I'm sorry to hear about this. I know it is devestating. There are alot of people with Herpes who live full normal lives. I suggest you find books and read up as much as possible. One of my best friends was infected by her boyfriend. She has moved on and lives a normal life. She is married, with children. When she found out he did this to her, she was devasted. So she read as much as she could find out.

It affects everyone differently. She has had one or two outbreaks, has not infected her H. Back when she found out, they said the only way to pass it on is when you have an active outbreak, so they are careful, even when she suspects, they abstain. Now they are saying it can be transmitted anytime. So, which is correct, I don't know. She had normal deliveries and her children did not contract the disease (if she would have been active at the time of delivery, they would have gone c-section).

I remember how terribly upset she was about this. He tried blaming her and accused her of being unfaithful, so talk about a double whammy. So immediatly corrected him and told him that she never cheated, so there is only one way she could have gotten it. He then fessed up.

So, I sort of understand how upset you are. That is why I suggest to learn as much as you can. Once she did, she calmed down some after that.

BB,
So sorry to hear this news from you. I was hoping your results would be negative. (Let's hope this was a false positive)I know what you are going through. I don't have any good advice for you because I'm a mess myself. I just wanted you to know your not alone. Why do bad things happen to good people. My husband is the only man I have slept with, yet now the other day when I filled out medical history, I had to answer yes to "ever contracted an STD?" Oh the humiliation. I'm sorry, that probably isn't helping you. I would just read anything and everything about herpes and make sure you keep informed. Make sure you go back in 6 months for followup HIV test. It takes that long apparently.
bonbon

<small>[ January 07, 2003, 04:21 AM: Message edited by: Baby Blue ]</small>

BB-
I'm sorry for your news. I can't imagine.

My best friend got a really bad casue of herpes from her long time boyfriend a few years back.

Basically, at first it was really bad and painful. Not the kind of thing that would go unnoticed.

After that she would have an outbreak whenever she was stressed or got her period. She's married now and her husband is not infected. So they have to be careful to not infect him. That makes her feel really really badly (not to mention dirty).

Basically, she was on supression meds for a while then she went on the Depo shot which stopped her period and outbreaks.

She's pregnant now and before she delivers they'll check for an outbreak if she's going to have a vaginal delivery.

Other than that she has a normal life and she says it's not big deal.

From what I know (which aint much) about herpes, the first outbreak is supposed to be really really painful. If you never had an initial (painful) outbreak then maybe you just got a false negative.

Good Luck

Baby-

I do feel for you... man, this is NOT a fun position to be in. I hope your husband appreciates your patience right now!

But, a word of encouragement: at one time in my life I was exposed to to Herpes. It was devestating, because not only was it possible I'd have this hideous disease, there was a strong element of betrayl to it. At any rate, when I got the first test back, it came back positive. I was heartbroken. However, they redid it and it came back negative. My six month check-up just came back and it's negative as well... so don't fret too much yet! There may yet be hope of you not having it!

If you do, there are some really great treatment options available... much better than what they had in the past. As far as your marriage goes, I'm sure this is putting a dampener on your recovery. What does your husband say about all of this?

<small>[ January 07, 2003, 04:22 AM: Message edited by: Baby Blue ]</small>

I am so sorry, but I am hoping that it's a false positive!!!! I can not even begin to know what you are going thru, but know that my thoughts are with you and again, I'm so sorry that he would risk you to anything!!

BB,
I will pray for you that the results are neg. Have you had any other symptoms? Lesions etc? I was told by someone that you usually have this when exposed. DOn't know if that is true or not.It does seem terribly unfair that you did nothing wrong and the actions of your H have put you in this place. I found out about the STD from my doc then confronted H. I can only imagine that you do feel like d-day all over again. For me, this aspect was worse than the A. THat my H could not use protection (not that that is foolproof) and put me at risk to die!!! I know that you must be going through a period of disbelief. I know I did. Take it day by day. Last week I went through a BAD PERIOD. Wanted to end it big time but this week I feel better (not much) but some. Enough that I don't want to pull the car in the garage and leave it running. Keep posting. LOL

Hi BB,

I hope this is a false positive. If it isn't, just because there is no cure today, does not mean that there won't be one soon. I know the commercials on TV are real promising with the drugs available to suppress reactions.

I know, this is hard to understand the "why me". Especially since, you weren't the one going elsewhere.

Please, go to your library, look on the net. I will see what I can find in my nursing books. If I find anything, I will pass it along. We had a lecture on STD's, but they only gave us general overview.

BB.I'm so sorry to hear this, but keep faith and prayer that it will be a false positive and the next test will clear you from this worry.
Now can I vent and scream? GRRRRRRR ARGGGGGGGG
Why do these Men do this and then just say I'm sorry? Most know that everything is out there, yet they think with the zipper instead of the brain. Not only do we have to be exposed to the one they cheated with, but every partner that person ever had. Makes me feel like a tramp even though I did nothing wrong. They may as well prostitute us out as to expose us to these sluts and all their partners.
Now, my H has been in service so should know, does know, yet didn't give a damn. it's all about them and the sluts. I know this and told mine, give me anything and you won't be using it again honey. EVER!
Sorry, it just makes me so mad for anyone, the innocent like you Baby to have to suffer like this. And the embarrassment to us to have to go be tested. Now, has he informed the Bit-- what she gave him and you? I don't know how that works, but with HIV they ask and contact the other person and all their partners. They should do that with all STD's too. Does anyone know if they do? Hopfully, the Health Dept would contact her about what she's spreading!Of course, she knows she has it. But doesn't care! But they need to make her be accountable to others.
You're in prayers Baby. Keep your head up too. you've done nothing wrong,and can beat this with being informed and aware. But I feel it will come back negative next time. I do pray that for you. God bless, LouLou

Hi LadyLou,

I think contacting the Health dept. varies from state to state. I know in my state, it used to be a requirement that for some of them that they were contacted. Now, I think it is only for HIV because of the seriousness of it. I think the consequences of all of them is enough to make it mandatory to notify. Especially for women, some of the STD's out there, we don't know we have unless we are told to get checked because the signs and symptom are similar to other female stuff.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Baby Blue:
<strong>The blood tests came back. I have tested positive for Herpes. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Herpes <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> , there is no blood test for herpes. Are u sure <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> . OM has herpes, I think my WW has it too sooo I freak out every time there is a bit red spot. My doctor has to kick me out from his office !!!. The only medical test is sending a sample taken during the outbreak !!!. Let me know if there is such a test ...
-rh-

hey redhat--

There is a blood test for herpes--it detects HSV antibodies in the bloodstream and is used when the patient is not having or has never had an outbreak.

<small>[ January 07, 2003, 04:22 AM: Message edited by: Baby Blue ]</small>

I love men, God knows I do, but sometimes they're just idiots!

My xMM used to say all the time "we don't have to use condoms." I was like <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I think that for men who have not been single in the age on condom-chic they're just plain clueless.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by lostbuthopeful:
<strong>hey redhat--

There is a blood test for herpes--it detects HSV antibodies in the bloodstream and is used when the patient is not having or has never had an outbreak.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I never had an outbrake, false outbrake but my doctor never told me this. I know I will drive him crazy again but I have to ask.

Baby Blue:
I could undestand how you feel. If I tested positive, I might even sue OM & WW. Not for money but for criminal ... it is a criminal intend to inflict someone knowingly w/ a desease. I think WW could get away w/ it since she didn't know but I don't know OM could go away with it.

-rh-

HSV1 is the oral type; HSV2 is the genital type.
I have the HSV1; its not fun either. I have many triggers: stress, too much sun, too much caffeine, changing diet abruptly, ...dogs & cats living together.

Famvir is a good drug to speed along healing. Zovirax is an older one and doesn't work as well, IMO.

I've had the oral type for 12+ yrs; my family has never had an outbreak. My Dr. said that they likely have developed antibodies against it.

Sorry you have to deal with this, but you can hope that you're H contracts the HSV1 from you and has to deal with the lesions and scarring on his face <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> (that was catty, wasn't it?)

hey redhat--

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I never had an outbrake, false outbrake but my doctor never told me this. I know I will drive him crazy again but I have to ask
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Drive him crazy or find another doctor to do it! You need the peace of mind.

Baby Blue,
This is a consequence of your H's A, it isn't separate from it, it's a result. That's how I deal with thinking about it.

When I resolved to reconcile my marriage, dealing with this consequence was part of that resolution.

Your H wasn't thinking of consequences, you already know that. He made a really bad choice, without a lot of thought, and it is impacting your life and health.

This certainly can be a reason to divorce him, or never forgive him, but, you still have to deal with it. Your call whether it is with him or without him.

If you aren't in counseling, this would be a good time to start, because if you choose your H, this is a major issue to resolve within the infidelity.