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I guess I'm having a marijuana flashback or something ...<P>I think of the OM and the line of CRAP he fed me all those months ... just for the contents of my pants.<P>I remember what a FOOL I was to believe his words ... he knew just what to say.<P>And then I wanna scream in his face, I wanna kick him, I wanna kick a wall, I wanna cuss (and I don't). I wanna scream obscentities at him.<P>I'm just really frustrated today I guess. Thanks for letting me vent.<BR>
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Maya - <P>I've got to believe that these are completely normal feelings. I pray that my W someday will feel the same anger and resentment toward her OM.
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Maya,<P>I feel the same way sometimes. Yes, IT IS NORMAL, and I understand. Tell ya what, I'll cuss at your OM for you since I have to admit I've been known to say a few choice french words every now and again. ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif) <P>Sometimes when I think about it I become so angry that I would clobber OM if I could. So, girlfriend, I hear you loud and clear and I got your back!!<P>------------------<BR> Love is meant to heal. Love is meant to renew. Love is meant to oust all fear. Love is meant to harmonize differences. Love is meant to bring us closer to God.
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Maya<BR>You weren't a fool. You were a trusting person.<BR>I would send you one of my hay bales to beat up if I could. Or you could e-mail me something that I could add to my weekly bonfire!!!!<BR>Is there something you can do to get it out physically? Tennis? Jogging? A punching bag?<BR>Don't let it hurt you!<P>
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Maya -<P>If you do get the chance, you know what to aim for, I'm sure. (Hate to encourage you to do this to a fellow male, but it certainly sounds like he deserves it!) And then tell him, "NOW I forgive you!"<P>--Wex
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Vent Like The Wind, girlfriend! I competed in the Anger Olympics myself. Little by little, it goes from a seething boil, to a low simmer, to the occassional 'burp'... and finally to a stone-cold pot. Then ya throw it down the sink & FORGET ABOUT IT!! ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif)
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AM THERE, done that!!<P>Let it out, girl!!<P>My mother used to tell me to buy an ice block and put a picture of the offender on it, and then PICK IT LIKE HECK... or pound a pillow and pretend it's him... Once, I took a picture of someone (okay, it was my H after his affair) and ran over it with my car! It all works, and sometimes is necessary... ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) <P><p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited September 13, 1999).]
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Maya:<P>Do you really think he was feeding you lines just to get in your pants? From all the info I gathered so far, my H didn't feed Mia any lines. He says he "truely" loves her. She's in his heart. God it makes me sick. I'm surprised I'm admitting this knowing she frequents this site. Oh well, nothing I can do to stop him from his "feelings". Only time will tell what he wants to do. <P>Don't feel like a fool. I'm sure you are not. I'm sure Mia feels like she was not a fool. After all, my H was giving her all the emotions and affections that he should have been giving me. I'm sure ow felt like she was the queen of the world. It's so true, we all all human with needs that include loving feelings. Why wouldn't any of us feel special when someone bestows that on us? I want that so much, but I'm not sure I will ever get it from my H.
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Here's my rear end. Go ahead, my wife has been for years. (did I make a smiley?)<P>Look, Maya if you got laid and regret it; Just deal with it. It's just sex. Your cards are on the table. You're working it out with the one you truly want to be with. <P>Just lighten up and look at the growth you have had. We grow through crisis..stagnate otherwise. What have you learned???
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I guess when you can get over the anger, and then get to that "ambivalence" stage, the battle is won. I think it comes with time. Have always felt that love and hate are too synonamous.
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JB,<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>"Look, Maya if you got laid and regret it; Just deal with it. It's just sex.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Gee, that seems to be what my H thinks, only I'm supposed to be the one dealing with his getting laid.<P>Maya,<BR> Don't be so hard on yourself. You made a mistake, but are remorseful (which I don't htink my H is), and your H loves and forgives you. Forgive yourself, and allow yourself to enjoy your marriage with the wonderful man who truly loves you.
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Hey everyone. Thanks for the encouragement (JB you have such a way with words) <P>I guess it's just another part of the process. Quite frankly I'm sick of the process. Yeah, I know I got myself into this mess, I have to live with the consequences.<P>What ticks me off so badly is that he's STILL in my thoughts. He's a jerk, a [censored] .... slime creature from the black lagoon .... but his eyes still haunt me.<P>IT MAKES ME SICK!<P>I wish I could take the tip of an eraser and mark out the past 1 1/2 years.
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Hey, Maya - I SWEAR to you, it'll fade. I never would've believed it myself - but it really does. Hang in there!!!
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Yeah, I know, suse. It has faded alot over the past few months. But it irriates the ever-lovin' CRAP out of me that he's still there at all ... that I still think of him. (and yes, some of the thoughts are STILL fond)<P>WHAT'S UP WITH THAT ANYWAY?<P>I hate the man ............. or do I?
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Maya,<BR>HOw about you hate what he DID? but as a person, you saw things you liked or cared about. <BR>very few of us probably pick really bad scumbags for affairs, we fall in with people with maybe some flawed morality or sensability but they have other qualities we find appealing..<BR>well i think i need more pepsi this morning before i can sound coherent but do you get the gist? he's just a man with good and bad. you got most of his 'bad' because of your situation, and maybe as you got to know him better, what you really perceived about him changed. <BR>don't beat YOURSELF up....it takes time to get to know someone, you were hurting and vulnerable....his importance will fade...<BR>move on....<P>------------------<BR>Kellie<BR>Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough<P>
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There's my old buddy Maya kickin' stuff around... <P>I hear you woman. Things about what I allowed myself to do make me mad still too. I fell for all the lies, his, and the ones I made up for myself. You know, you've heard it all from me before ...We are going to be able to let it go, it will just take some time.<P>You know what? Today I went to the old store!! Marched right in there safe as a bug in a rug (bugs are safe in rugs right?)...cool huh? We make steps like this everyday. Don't forget everyday we walk farther away...<P>talk to you soon..<P>-j
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Thanks, Janet. I seem to be calming down ever so slightly.<P>Sheesh. What a hard road I've chosen to walk down. <P><sigh>
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Maya,<P>I'll send you my H..... I think he needs a good swift kick or two..... or 100.... <P>I know where you are.... been there lately too... A LOT. I guess lately I've been focusing on my H's twinky, and our separation ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif) , and wondering where it all went so wrong.<P>I was going to make a "Damn-It" doll this weekend.... want me to make you one too? Gonna attach all the vital parts w/ velcro so I can rip them right off when the urge strikes me!! <P>Hang in there.<BR>Butterfly<P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>
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Maya<P>You have chosen a path of obedience to God. God never said it would be easy, just worth it. My wife has chosen to leave and file for divorce. She says she's going to do something she wants to for once in her life.
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SweetPea, Sorry. For Maya though, everyone else summed up my incomplete thoughts: if you're remorseful, working hard on your relationship, doing the best you can....you may actually be grateful someday for the growth. Y'u can be a better person for whats happened. Or, dwell on it.
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