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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 39
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 39 |
my h and i are coming upon six months separation. when he 1st left he was tender toward me. now he is cold at 99 percent of the time. he told me he nearly despised me. i have not been contacting him in any way. but i do have a wonderful relationship with his parents. he told me he didn't know what happened but his mom thinks i am the sweetest person now. our children are early 20's but we still do santa for them. he would not help in any way with it. told me not to worry he would get them something. he is still doing little secret things to hurt me but wants me to understand the marriage is over. i have been good since he left but after each incident i feel hate for him. i am tired of taking his crap and being always nice to him. he treats me like dirt. has anyone here been through a midlife crisis and did you come out the other side.
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 1,790
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 1,790 |
l_m_h, Hate is such a strong emotion, but I relate to what you say. It appears your H is playing games and is getting mad that you aren't reacting in a way he wants you to. He also may resent the fact that you are in tight with his parents. Put yourself in his shoes... would you be angry if he was tight with your parents? I would be whether it was right or wrong. Stay strong! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Hi,
IMHO, let him know that you will no longer take his blame or anger. Let him take that with him when he walks out the door. In fact, now let others meet his needs but he can not escape his obligations.
Be nice to his parents. Let them know that you appreciate them taking care of their son and though you feel bad, you recognize they are good parents. Show the example of care towards your IL's to your children. Let them know that their grandparents had to take their son (their dad) back in because he chose not to take care of his family. Then ask what they think their grandparents should do to such a child. Hm....put them in the drivers seat and watch their reaction. Might be interesting. Becareful not to put thoughts into their young minds but be informative and listen to their response.
You children may then past their opinions to their dad. Nothing worse than watching a dad squirm under the scrutiny of their own offspring. LOL!!
take care,
L.
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