Hi, I would love to talk to you. You don't have to take that from WH. You can be loving yet expect to be treated with care. I'd say there is a 99% chance that you are probably being too good!
Lovingly distance. Don't push, draw boundries etc...We are here for you.

Another thing to consider, people also cheat when they just think they are unhappy with their spouse. When in reality, they have issues that have nothing to do with you. Including poor self esteem, always wanting to be the center of attention. A's are self serving. I am aware you are not perfect and if you could turn back the hands of time and tweak a few things you would, but YOU didn't hold a gun to his head and tell him to commit adultery...HE MADE THAT CHOICE! You should really stop beating yourself up.

Let me ask you this...Was your husband meeting all of your needs prior to his A's? Probably not, if he had been maybe he wouldn't have had the A because you would have been returning his care right back. Maybe just Maybe you can feel like you had a backbone for not cheating...When in reality he wasn't meeting your needs. He most certainly wasn't during the A. Yet you had enough gumption, enough self pride to say "I am not going to put my husband thru that type of pain"--That whole golden rule thing? You followed it, he didn't.

Take Care