I've posted only a few times when my H first left and moved out to live with OW. But I come to the site to read for insiration. It was so sudden and really made no sense at all. Yes, I got the speech and he blamed everything on me and was very nasty for the first few months. During this time I implemented Plan A for myself and my kids. He seemed to notice and even told my SIL 'Why couldn't she have changed when I was still at home?'. Over the past two months H has been emailing, IM and talking to me on the phone almost every day now.

The real change came about when I went to Plan B and wrote my letter telling him I will always love him and that I forgive him (since I was once FWW in an EA 5 years ago). I wished him the best with his new life and OW and that I wanted closure so I could go on. My H filed for divorce on Halloween of all day's, at the urging of OW I believe. My H is 38 and OW is 21 and they had only known eachother for a few weeks before he left.

My divorce will be final at the end of this month, but not sure what he wants to talk about. We have been getting along very well and I just got back from a trip with my children this past weekend. H was beside himself because I never called due to time zone difference. He drove us to the airport and hugged me good bye before the trip and followed our flight home online. H lives in another state in his hometown and could not pick us up from the airport.

Not sure what to think about what he needs to talk about. When I discussed on the phone on New Years I explained that the medical benefits and life insurance will be cancelled once the divorce is final, he did not say anything about the d.

Our finances are split and I'm able to live in the house. H is paying all the bills for his apt. due to OW not having a job since he left. Could H becoming out of the fog now? Is the civil conversations and friendly talk a sign? I'm scared about tomorrow, the only hint he gives me is that he is not going to give me a rash of s*&t. He also knows what I am going thru being a single parent raising two kids, 3 dogs and 3 cats. My SIL told me that she does not think things are going well for H and OW.

Pray for me that my prayer has been answered that God has opened his eyes to show him all the pain his entire family has suffered.

Usavings --

I want to wish you well tomorrow. Hard to know what H wants to discuss but, since you're both getting along civilly, I don't see this meeting as a uncomfortable or awkward thing. In fact, it could be a very good thing for you and your relationship.

Your plate is very full being a single parent with two children and a wonderful household zoo and doing a great job keeping all those juggling balls in the air. You need all the help and stability you can get. Maybe something good will come out of your time together. It certainly is a possibility that The Fog is lifting; wouldn't that be a substantial New Year's present?

Presumably by this time tomorrow you will have some answers. I'm sending my extra-special "Ammon Vibes" for good luck. I'll keep you in my thoughts. Please post and update us. I'm pulling for you.

Ammon

usavings -- I do remember some of your earlier posts and the fact that H barely knew younger OW when he moved out and filed for a D. My hope is that he nows sees how hasty he was in moving out and asking for a D. I would try and think positively, but prepare yourself for whatever might come out of his mouth. I think that the renewed contact with you and the fact that it has been positive so far is a good sign.

Go into the conversation with absolutely NO expectations. He may just want to see you. He may want to discuss the D but then when he sees you decides maybe not. He may want your M back. It is very unpredicatable and consequently I think your best approach is to not expect anything in particular from this conversation. So many times (myself included) we BS get our hopes up too high and then are crushed.

I know you will be strong tomorrow and hope for the best.

Good luck to you. May tomorrow be all that you want. tew

Thank you to all who posted replys. I've been here everyday reading everyones story and feeling all your pain. We are truely all here helping eachother thru our own ordeals. I will try not to be too hopeful. But one thing I've learned here is to watch their actions, don't listen to their 'fog talk'.

I've seen my H go from totally nasty to being kind again, just in the way he talks to me. I have tried not to LB or R talk at all, that get's me no where I've learned. Lately we both just listen to eachother and let eachother speak. My H just recently lost a best friend at around Christmas, and he needed someone to talk to (me). Our problem was communication and not opening up to tell how we felt, we got caught up in our daily lives and forgot about eachother.

I've been married 9 1/2 years together 12, that is too long to just throw away on a fantasy. I'm taking your advice to not expect too much, I don't want to be crushed again. Each time I pull away, he keeps trying to pull me back. I'm stronger now since July D-day and I still love him. But I don't want him back unless he want's to be with me and our children again. I won't be his meal ticket anymore. Thanks again, I'll keep you updated. My prayers are with everyone tonight.

Usavings