I gave H my Plan B letter on Sunday stating I loved him and that when the affair is over I will be waiting. (If I can hold on that long)

CERRI or whoever may have experience. My H doesn't have the furniture or space to take the kids to his place and frankly they are to young right now to be moving back and forth (at least until we get back to the states and get all of our other furniture out of storage). How can I do a modified Plan B when he comes over and has dinner with the kids often and leaves when they go to bed. He says he doesn't mind if I am there on his weekends, but where is my time? I don't have any friends that I could stay with on his weekends. I feel like I am taking all the responsibility for the kids and he comes and plays with them. The kids (3,1 yr) don't know anything about the separation. We lie and say dad is at work or the gym etc... Once we get to the states and settled then we will tell older one.

Also, how did any of you deal with H and OW doing things with the kids. He wants to see how they interact, which I can understand, but it hurts so much. Its like a slap in the face to me that he wants to play happy family with her and my kids!! I feel so much anger and I am starting to take it out on him. (LBs). I know I have to stop, but it is so hard. So far we have been civil and are trying to work together. (Its easy for him since he's getting everything he wants). I find I can talk civil with him, but toward of the end of the conversation I make some snide comment about him getting everything he wants and he should be happy etc... which ruins the constructive session we just had. I am beginning to get such a deep anger and hatred for him that I am afraid that if he ever comes back then I won't be able to get past it all.

We are already talking about moving and buying two different houses when we get back to the states so I don't see this coming together for recovery anytime soon if ever. How do I hold on and keep from hating him. I want what is best for my children. I am trying to keep it as a business partnership for the kids and trying to distance myself, but its so hard. I would appreciate any advice. Thanks.

How he visits with his children is his business. If he is exposing them to someone you deem unhealthy then expose it. If he is confused as to how to handle it, let him figure it out. If he can't see his kids without the OW, that is his problem. He may need to choose between his kids and the OW.

You keep yourself and your children protected. Your home is your home and should not be violated. If he is in the military, isn't there a policy about adultery being an offense? Ask here, there are several in the military.

JMHO,
L.