i am finished with my story..please read and respond

There really is not much to say except that your problems are way beyond the scope of this board and deep intensive professional help is desperately needed. You have simply emotionally and physically tortured your husband for many years. I cannot ever imagine another person so humiliating and betraying a spouse the way you have done so. I would think if you really love him then you will encourage him to move on with his life to find someone who can honestly love, respect and commit to him. You are simply toxic to him and I could not conceive how he could have any self-esteem or self-respect left within him. If you truly love another person then you want what is best for them. Could you mentally survive if the roles had been reversed and your husband did all of those things to you? I worry about your children. I implore you to go and contact your county mental health division and seek professional care immediately. I feel so sorry for the both of you.

Hi,

I say ditto to the two replies on your other thread.

Also, get into counseling as sson as possible for your childhood stuff--find a therapist who specializes in child abuse issues.

Your situation is not hopeless, but it will take a lot of consistant work on your part first.

Good luck and God bless

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Bryanp:
" You have simply emotionally and physically tortured your husband for many years. I cannot ever imagine another person so humiliating and betraying a spouse the way you have done so. "

I am well aware of all the pain and humiliation that I have caused my poor husband...I Love him very very much...and as I have realized what I have done to him, it has brought me pain as well..I do want him to be happy...But I guess a little selfish part of me wants him to be happy with me. Not someone else...I can love him better than anyone else ever could...and I will...if he will allow me to...but thank you for your input.

Cheating,

Have you ever heard the expression:

"You have to love yourself before you can love someone else?"

I REALLY think that this applies.

My heart went out to you and your family when I read your story. Although my issues manifested in a different form, I had a lot of similar experiences in my childhood. My eldest neice is also my half-sister if you can believe that!

It sounds as if you have no real resources to help you out, but I do agree that you need to seek out some independant professional help. Your husband does also. Marital healing can only start once each of you individually heal.

Your "marriage" seems to be based in dependancy. Yes there is LOVE, but there never really WAS a commitment. My XBF and I shared vows privately in a church - just him, me, and GOD, but the situation is the same. We didn't committ because it wasn't a healthy situation.

Please look at WHO you are and start there.

I was wounded, and I am healing....I really believe that you have it in you to change too.

Good Luck.

<small>[ January 08, 2003, 01:08 PM: Message edited by: kily ]</small>