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should I tell H every time I see OM?
#1049672 01/10/03 06:19 PM
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 183
E
euphoria
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euphoria
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E Offline
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Posts: 183
Occasionally we run into OM, and tonight was the first time I saw OM with out H with me. We were at the video store and when I passed by he said hi and I said Hi and that was it. Now I am regretting even saying Hi to him, but anyways should i tell H about this? I do feel a bit bummed out by seeing him so H will surely notice that and want to know the reason. Thanks
Re: should I tell H every time I see OM?
#1049673 01/10/03 06:26 PM
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 661
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jamup Offline
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jamup
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If you were my FWH, I'd want you to tell me. AS a matter of fact, it is one of the "rules" here now. Quit creating secrets. Tell him, and get it off your chest. Just in telling him, it will help him see that you want to be honest and open with him now. Affairs are based on secrecy, keep any contact out in the open!!!
Re: should I tell H every time I see OM?
#1049674 01/10/03 06:32 PM
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
No. Va.
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worthatry Offline
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worthatry
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Posts: 10,060
No. Va.
Building on jamup's reply, consider taking this opportunity to establish a "rule." Using Radical Honesty, discuss this with your H and establish an understanding using POJA. Then, next time, it'll be easy.
Re: should I tell H every time I see OM?
#1049675 01/10/03 06:44 PM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Shrek's Swamp
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Pepperband Offline
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Pepperband
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Shrek's Swamp
Eup .... sharing difficult things with your spouse builds intimacy. Consider telling your spouse about your OM sighting to be a love deposit with your H! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Yes .... tell him.... ask him for help dealing with it ... then ask if H needs help dealing with it.

It is an opportunity!!!!!!!!!! Do something good with this.

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

<small>[ January 10, 2003, 05:44 PM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>
Re: should I tell H every time I see OM?
#1049676 01/10/03 08:43 PM
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 920
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ladyLou Offline
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ladyLou
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Tell, they're all giving you right on advice. it will build points and show him you're not hiding anything. LouLou
Re: should I tell H every time I see OM?
#1049677 01/10/03 09:20 PM
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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T00MuchCoffeeMan Offline
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T00MuchCoffeeMan
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Not only do I agree with with the rest of the folks on the reason of radical honesty, but also to protect yourself in case your H one day sees you and OM in similar settings, and starts to suspect that you and him have re-started your A. Wouldn't it be a great relief for him to hear that you voluntarily brought out the truth about your accidental encounter withthe OM and thus are not hiding anything vaguely suspicious from him? I say do it.
Re: should I tell H every time I see OM?
#1049678 01/10/03 10:11 PM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,504
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Faith4me Offline
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Faith4me
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Posts: 1,504
There is no answer but the honest answer. Tell. And no secrets. If you want your marriage saved, tell him, no secrets, no holding anything back. Honesty is the answer!

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