I hope I have the strength not to cry, but I think this is it. WH is coming over tomorrow to tell me his desires for a D, asset issues, etc. He wants to do it in person and frankly I'm just not capable of saying "no thanks I'd just rather see the paperwork" or "take it up with my lawyer".

I am struggling right now to think how I will react and how I will stay calm and keep from crying. I wish I had some sleeping pills because I am so sad right now.

I guess I've known for some time that this was coming. I know he's still seeing OW (at least as of a few weeks ago).

I feel like a failure. On the other hand I have learned a lot about what it takes to make a marriage work and patience. It will just have to be with someone else.

The sadness is overwhelming me right now. I feel like such a whiner when for the most part my life is pretty good compared to most.

unsureheart,

Of course you are sad... when you married, you expected it to be forever.. you had a dream, and a plan, and now its gone, and it seems like there is nothing left but a big black hole. I explained it to my IC as being in the bottom of a long dark tunnel, and being afraid that I will never get out.

BUT we will... remember, one foot in front of the other, and pretty soon.. we're there. Just keep going..

And, you DON'T have to see him if you don't think that you are emotionally able to do so. Tell him to write up a proposal, and either send it to your lawyer, if you have one, or drop it in the mailbox.

Now is the time to take care of you. Nice hot bath, hot tea or hot chocolate, light some good smelling candles, read those books that you haven't been able to concentrate on, write,write, write..

You are NOT a failure.. you did everything in your power to make this right. You can only control your actions, not anyone else's.

You're in my prayers.

-almost 50

<small>[ January 10, 2003, 10:29 PM: Message edited by: almost50 ]</small>

Hi, USH;
Sorry to hear this. We sure are exposed to difficult situations throughout these ordeals.
You are not a failure! The outcome is NOT what matters in the end, but the dignity, courage, and determination with which you undertook the challenge. It is the path we choose, and how we travel it that takes us to growth and to our source, not the outcome.
YOU have succeeded. The M might not have, but you have!
Stay strong, and feel proud of what you have done!

Hi Ush,

R U sure that is why he is coming to see you? Even if it is, who really has become the better person here? U of course.

U R NOT a failure. You just happen to be married to someone who is a bit touched (in the head) right now and can't see the forest for the trees. We can, he can't. So until he does, do you really want him back? Don't you want someone back who truly wants you?

Based on the above, then if you are strong enough to see yourself in the same way, seeing him will be easier. In fact if he will try to test the waters of return, you will need to hvae proof that the 'contamiation' (A stuff) is gone.

JMHO,
L.

Hi unsure...

I am so, so sorry you are having to go thru this.

I know it is not what you want and I know how badly you wanted to make this work...I know this must feel like a kick in the stomach and I understand how you feel about trying ot get thru it. But I know you will...you are very strong...stronger than you know. I have seen that strength here on this board displayed time and time again...you will get thru this...

NOW---as for some of what you posted...let me say this:

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE...if we accept that a flawed or failed marriage made FAILURES of us then we all are failures and that is not true. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You have been trying to salvage the relationship that has meant the most to you. You have stood up strongly where many others, including your husband, have themselves failed.

Put this failure thought right out of your pretty little head. Do you hear me?!? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Good!!!!

USH SAID: On the other hand I have learned a lot about what it takes to make a marriage work and patience. It will just have to be with someone else.

This is exactly how I feel a lot of the time... I have learned so much and understand much more than I ever did about relationships, marriages and patience that I know if my WW decides to leave it will be her loss and that if I ever have another relationship I believe someone will be very fortunate....

IT IS TRUE FOR YOU TOO!!!!

I know what I have seen from you on this board and I know that if your H walks away from that he will be the poorer for it...

I wish I had something I could say to make you feel better. But sadly, I don't.

But you will make it thru today and the next day and the next and you will be strong.

You have a good heart unsure...you can't have a good one without it breaking a bit once in while...you will make it thru this.

Please take care...

E

I'm leaving to go cross country skiing to clear my head shortly, but I did want to respond to all of the kind people that posted to me and provide an update
almost50- Thank you for providing me encouragement so quickly and for your suggestions. I did take a bath with candles and had a brandy.

spacecase- Your words of encouragement always help as I know you've been through so much and are so strong now.

orchid - Thank you. Thank you. You gave me some strength. Your story always inspires me and your advice always gives me a lift.

elad - I was so glad that you posted to me and gave me a kick in the pants. I don't view my plan A so much as a failure, but the failure comment comes from what I did or did not do in my marriage through lack of knowledge and self-awareness.

I am pleased to report something postive and I am cautiously optimistic.

WH had called on Friday said he wanted to discuss a D. He came over Saturday morning and brought coffee and breakfast treats. We had a pleasant time over coffee. WH then got silent and said he didn't know if he could talk. I suggested we go for a hike/get outside. We hiked for about 3 hours on a cold but sunny day. Talked about our jobs, families, and all of the other things we haven't talked about for the last three months with the exception of our R.

As we came toward the end of our walk we started talking about my mother and father. My mother is manic depressive and we've always had somewhat of a strained relationship. WH asked me how I thought that had impacted me. I told him that I had spent a lot of time reflecting on that in my individual therapy and that her volatility and inconsistency throughout my life probably contributed to my need to control things and that was something I had been working on. WH said he noticed.

I then asked him what his perception was and he said that before he moved out he always felt insecure/insufficient because I was so driven and hard on myself and him and wanted control over everything at home. I told him he was right and that this was something I've had to learn to let go of. He commented that he could see that I had made some changes and he was sorry that he never really had thought about why I might have this need to control situations. I started to cry and we kept walking.

WH said he had been reading the book on male depression and still did not completely understand how the situations described in the book (how chronic childhood emotional abuse from parents can surface later in life as depression) pertained to him. I responded that I didn't have an exact answer but that the book had spoken to me because my perception was that his alcoholic parents and narcissitic/very controlling father had never been very positive in supporting him as a child and that he probably suffered chronic emotional abuse with some acute incidents. (This is based on my observation and what his sister has told me). He said he was still processing all of that.

When we got back to the house we made tea and sat in the sunroom to talk. He looked down at the floor and said that he wanted to talk to me about all that had happened but that he was so ashamed, felt as if he had wasted years of my life and that he was concerned because he was being so selfish/had selfish desires. I told him that while I did not agree with his decision to have the A, my perception of the situation was that my behaviors during our M had made it hard for him to talk to me about his fears and concerns and that he had made a decision to seek affirmation outside our M/pursue another relationship and that it turned into love.

WH said that was a pretty accurate picture, but that it was more complicated than that and he is still struggling with why/how it all happened and where our relationship was going.

WH then said that he had seen his physician and that his physician had prescribed anti-depressants which he was picking up at the pharmacy that afternoon. I asked why he was on anti-depressants (I've been hoping for this for more than a year and his therapist wanted this months ago when WH stopped going to therapy after 3 visits). WH said he wasn't happy. I told him I was sorry he wasn't happy (and thinking so he's still seeing OW but he isn't happy). WH told me he didn't know what would make him happy.

WH then said he didn't know how to talk about any more of this with me because he felt so much shame. WH said he has avoided interacting with his friends and our work colleagues (other than OW) because he is so ashamed.

I asked whether he thought maybe seeing a MC together to help us discuss all of this would help. WH thought that it would and agreed to call his former IC (who I like very much) and ask for a suggestion on an MC and set up an appointment. WH said he hoped I knew that MC was not a guarantee that we would return to M and I responded that yes I understood that but that I was glad he thought this would be helpful and it would certainly help me at least be friends with WH again.

We went and got some late lunch and agreed to talk again after he had MC set up.

I feel cautiously optimistic. I do not have the impression that WH is interested in jumping in and working on the M. I do have the impression that he is still confused and that he trying. This is much more than I could have said several months ago. I do not have high hopes for success while he still works with OW, however, I thought it would be pushing it to raise that yesterday. I think it will be best raised in MC.

Between the anti-depressants (his therapist has all along contended that his clinical depression is a big part of why he a) could not talk and b) sought out the A -- although I am not denying that my behaviors certainly did not help the situation) and the willingness to go to MC, I am more hopeful.

Now, I do also realize that this could be a complete sham on his part. He seemed sincere and I badly want to believe him, but somewhere in the back of my mind lurks the seed of mistrust that this is all a carefully designed plot to feed into the "see, I did everything you asked and I'm still not in love with you" and that he's not really going to stay on the anti-Ds and that MC will be going through the motions.

Wait and see and hope and pray.

<small>[ January 12, 2003, 12:39 PM: Message edited by: unsureheart ]</small>

USH,

This is a good progress report. Wow, I am proud of both of you. The walk, the breakfast, lunch and the discussion.

Your example is a model for us to follow. Now I have to find the location to be able to replicate your setting. Just kidding. But how you were able to use what was available to you to help give him an environment and then he was able to talk really shows progress.

See this is better than they quick, I'm home here meet my needs type of WS that we often hear about.

Your H is confused. He should be. A is a confusing thing. He is not that happy with the OW - GREAT! Oops..... ok, but he is also ashamed.
Now that is good to hear. He still has remnants of a conscience.

Worse case scenario here, even if he does the D, you will have known you gave him the best environment possible to help him. That would probably be the worst. He is seeing his confusion. That is progress.

Of course best case is that he comes back a better and healthier man. That option can still be but it is up to him now.

You have done well. I am very proud of you.

Enjoy your cross country skiing.

Me??? I can't ski - those bunny slopes are murder (re: old lady coming down a hill with 100 poless little tikes on skiis, whizzing by at what seems like 100 mph - LOL!! ) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

take care,
L.

<small>[ January 13, 2003, 12:44 AM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

Hey unsure,

Hadn't heard from u in a while so I thought I'd check to see how u were doing. I read ur thread and I'm praying for you. I hope things work out the way you want them too.

The way you handle situations with H makes me admire you. You told him what you wanted with out saying too much. You inspire me to keep trying but not expect. Can't finish posting son is trying to push the keys. Catch you later

Melinda

Geez, USH, this sure sounds positive to me. Of course I KNOW what you mean about the "carefully designed plot" because I have felt this ALL along with my W, but I have also never heard anything about shame or many of the other things he said which seem to be pretty honest and seem to show quite a bit of introspection. In addition, the fact that he asked about your Mother and how that affected you also shows he's thinking that there may be reasons other than those he's conconcted in his own self-justifying mind for some of your behaviors.
This is good news, USH.
Cautious Optimism! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hi unsure&#8212;

I would say that your most recent post is a lot more positive than what you originally posted/thought on this thread.

A couple of things occur to me:

I think you have used your time wisely in plan A to evaluate yourself and the insight into what drives you and makes USH tick is of immeasurable value to you regardless of what happens. Good job!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

I can hear the echo of my WW in what your WH says. She too has said how ashamed she is at times and how that makes it hard for her to understand how this (our R) could ever work again. In addition, she also says she wants to be happy, is not happy now and still doesn&#8217;t know what will make her happy.

You know Lincoln said: &#8220;People are just about as happy as they allow themselves to be.&#8221; And I really believe that. But just &#8216;cause I believe it doesn&#8217;t mean that anyone else does I suppose. But it seems to make so much sense&#8230;

Anyway, I digress&#8230;

I think talking with your H is great and MC will help and yes there is no guarantee that this will work to save your marriage but it is a step in the right direction.

It took well over a year for my WW to agree to anti-deps too. It took her Gyn and her IC to push it before she agreed. As I have said to you before this is not a magic bullet. It does not make everything OK. But what it does do, I think, is allow them to deal with their feelings and emotions without the huge ups and downs that depression can cause.

I think the healthy sense of skepticism you indicated is also good. Try hard, but be careful. But even with the skepticism that you and your H have (and he must have it too) this still can work if you are both honest and willing to do what it takes. Have you read the SKM chronicles here? It addresses what can happen even with a little trying.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=37;t=007743#000000

Now, between your ability to have this discussion with your H and how you have looked deep within yourself I think shows just some of the strength you have and continue to show here&#8230;I know that the day with your H had to be very difficult but like I said in my first post on this thread, you will survive it and greet new challenges. Those new challenges include continuing this dialogue with your H and perhaps MC and those are good, no matter what happens.

Remember&#8230;baby steps&#8230; <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Keep taking good care of unsure during all this.

You sound like you are doing well&#8230;keep up the faith&#8230;

Take care

E

that's quite some developments USH!
take it easy, peasy, step by step. but reasons to be hopeful, very much so!

N

orchid - Thanks. Your description of the downhill skiing is right on about the pole-less little ones at break-neck speed. Thankfully, cross country skiing is a little less dangerous (unless you're a periodic klutz like me and you just keel over for no reason tim conway style). Upon further reflection, I also think WH can't see a way out of his situation. I know he won't read the Harley stuff yet so we'll have to wait and see how MC goes in terms of helping him see what his choices are and how to make them happen.

depressed1234 -- Thank you for checking in with me. How are you doing? How is your son? Have you started classes again? I guess my next step is to catch up in your thread in JFO. I hope you're coping better than just after christmas.

Spacecase - I know it sounds positive and I'm trying to stay positive about it, but as you know, the WS can sure pull some weird tricks, lies, and confusion out of their bags. He is supposed to call the IC today to get the recommendation (but sometimes the IC can take a few days to get back to you) and then call. I'm remembering actions not words. I hope the actions match the words. Thank you.

elad - My WH still sounds eerily similar to your WW. I think what is different for me this time (as opposed to what I believed to be previous positive developments) is that I am not getting my hopes up too high until I see the actions as opposed to the words and I'm doing lots of things for me. My friends picked a spa in Santa Barbara as the 40th birthday locale and my family is going to all chip in and pay for the spa treatments as my gift. I am very much looking forward to that trip and love the friends I am going with as they have been so supportive and helpful to me throughout all of this.

Thank you for the link to the SKM chronicles thread. I have not read these, but will.

Nick -- How the heck are YOU? Thank you for checking in on me. Baby steps yes. My tendency in the past was to try and take a baby step and turn it into a giant leap. Trying NOT to do that this time. How was your holiday with WW and D? How are you?

Hi USH, I am glad for you. I just update on you...

This is something significant and I really hope it works out well for both of you.

Hang in there mate!
Liz

seahorse - I am so thankful you checked in on me. I wonder how you are and how you are feeling right now.

My update is a little bizarre. WH called yesterday as I was leaving the office to tell me that he had to come by to drop off some financial paperwork and would I like to have dinner afterwards. I told him that would be ok, but that I had to go to a work related cocktail party and would not be home until a bit later. He said fine.

I ran home quickly to change for the party and when I got home there were two invitations in the mail to an annual ski event with people in our field. One was addressed to mr. and mrs. unsureheart and the other one was addressed to mr. unsureheart AND THE OW. Unbelievable. Rather than freak out I just left them sitting on the counter knowing that WH would see them while I was gone.

I had a good time at the cocktail party and then drove home. When I arrived, WH was standing there with both invitations in his hand and looking really shaken. He just kept apologizing over and over and telling me that there was no explanation/no excuse for my receiving these invitations at home with OW name on it. I told him that somebody must be under the impression that he and OW were a couple because that was no mistake. I was very calm about it and didn't say anything more.

We went to dinner and WH revealed that he had not, in fact, started the anti-Ds (actions not words again). I asked him whether he was afraid to take them and he said yes. I told him that I thought maybe he should talk to his former IC about them by phone and see what he thought. We'll see what happens.

I just don't know what to believe anymore. For the last few days I felt hopeful, but the last 24 hours I have had serious thoughts about just telling him that I'm going to file if he doesn't get it together. I will wait and see if he gets MC scheduled before I do anything drastic.

If he does not follow through then I know it is probably time for me to make a move -- either back into plan B or file for a D. I just can't have him sucking me back and in and then messing around with my head anymore.

I will try and stay positive.

Hi USH, just checking in on you again. Please protect yourself emotionally against your H. Its the only advice I can offer you. The fact that you say you didn't react about the letters and are thinking of what is the next move, its showing you are in control of you - which is obviously more than we can say about him and himself.

USH, if you do talk about D, do it because it is the next best thing for you, not as a way to get him to do something - it won't work and will get you frustrated. I hope I haven't stepped over the mark here, but its funny how you look at things differently all of a sudden.

I am at the point that even though I do 'love' H I am doing and saying things that protect me. He talks about 'our friendship' and I tell him that I am happy to try to rebuild one-he seems to think that being a friend is acting like an imbosile. I've told him straight I have a low bu**** tollerance level and not playing the games he wants to.

I don't know what he thinks of this, but I know what I have to do to feel good about me. I still care but he dosen't. He's not even a shadow of the person I knew.

I feel OK, really I do-thanks for asking, I've learned to separate my life into sections and not lump it all together. That way I can still have a good day and laugh. I read a quote today "Life is about cleaning up the crap and while you're doing it, being OK with the fact you have to do it". Its so true, I had such a **** day today but I feel great! I've got a glass of Banrock Station Cabernet Merlot (South Australian wine) and some dip and that's dinner and its yum!

Please take care USH.

Hi unsure&#8230;

It is interesting that someone is so brain-dead they would actually send two invitations to your house for the same event with one including your H and OW&#8230;unbelievable! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I think you really handled it well&#8230;good for you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Regarding your H and not taking the anti-deps&#8230;you have to realize when they say something it means nothing until they do it. I can&#8217;t tell you the number of times my WW said I am going to do thus and so and when it came time to actually DO something it was just more backsliding. It&#8217;s like they view everything as such a big step&#8230;

I hope your H&#8217;s doc keeps at him about taking them&#8230;he really sounds like he could use the effect they have, which to me is just an evening out of emotions so they can look at the world and make rational decisions.

My WW e-mailed me yesterday asking if we could do a sleep-over at our house. Her staying in the guest room and maybe just doing something like we used to&#8230;pizza and a movie rental maybe or something like that. She wants to see how she will feel being there.

Anyway, I said yeah, if that was something she wanted/needed to do that would be fine&#8230;

Later in the morning she e-mailed again and said---well maybe it wouldn&#8217;t be a sleep-over, maybe just a visit and then we&#8217;ll see how it goes.

Whatever&#8230; <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> See what I mean about backsliding from what they originally say?

It was also interesting in the e-mail that she said she had hear a rumor about me spending a lot of time talking to "a single woman who is looking for a fella" at a business cocktail reception the nite before. I did not deny it because it was true&#8230; she said someone told her that some woman was after her husband&#8230;

It makes me laugh, I guess that that would something she would even ask me about&#8230;it really wasn&#8217;t any big deal, but we are both pretty high profile in our community so I guess it is sometimes hard to not do anything someone isn&#8217;t going to provide their own interpretation to&#8230;

I hope you are doing OK&#8230;keep up the good work and don&#8217;t file for a D that you don&#8217;t want.

Take care

E

seahorse - I love your quote about cleaning up the cr#p. I'm glad you've kept your sense of humor throughout all of this. I can certainly say that having people like you here have helped me keep my sanity and sense of humor intact. I'm sorry to hear that your WH is still dishing out the cr#p, but glad to hear that you have been able to move forward. Did you ever guess you could be so strong? I think back to our early posts in February, March and April last year and we were crying at the drop of a hat, feeling like our lives were meaningless, etc. etc. I am very glad to say that while I am not happy with my situation I still have happy days.

I'm mostly just trying to stay patient and wait for actions instead of words. Right before I go to bed at night is the hardest for me. I look in the mirror and wonder if I will ever find love again either with non-alien WH or somebody else. I'm not melancholy really, but it is something I think about. I went out last Saturday night to hear a band with a friend and I swear I was the only woman NOT wearing a belly-exposing top with a thong peeking out of the top/back of my pants. I'm in serious trouble if that's the get up I'll have to sport to meet new men.

elad - Isn't it incredible that somebody could be so completely out of it as to send those invitations? I called the event organizer and told him that somebody must have made an inadvertent error sending both my WH and I an invite and my WH and his employee/mistress. The guy was back-pedaling all over the place with not very believable excuses. I then said, even if that was the case (he had actually meant to invite all of us and the OW invitation was supposed to be sent to her job AND he knows about the damn A), would he really want all of us to go stay in a lodge together for a weekend?!?! He did not have an answer for that.

I have yet to hear from WH on the MC appointment and will try not to focus on that fact.

It is both encouraging and frustrating to hear that your WW wants to come over on Friday night to see how things go. I have to ask, when you do see her do you still feel strong feelings of love for her? I do for my WH, but at the same time I also am thinking that this person has changed so much in a direction that is so unappealing (lying, indecisiveness, passive agression, etc) that it is a bit scary. I supposed that is what Harley means by losing your love for someone. The love is still there, but I sure do not like the behavior I see and it is causing me to lose respect. I have to keep reminding myself that my WH is in many regards ill.

I think it's great that your WW thinks you have some kind of liaison with the woman from the cocktail party. Not that it's great that she would think you follow through with a relationship with this other person while you are still married, but that she at least acknowledges that you are an attractive person that can get that kind of attention from women.

When you do spend time with your WW do you initiate any kind of R talk or do you just keep it light and friendly? How does she respond? How often do you see eachother? Do you see any cracks in the veneer yet?

Hi unsure&#8230;

I think it is interesting and gutsy on your part that you contacted the event organizer who sent the screwball invitation to your house&#8230;I am sure he/she must have felt like an ididot but then someone that stupid may not even know how big of a screw-up that was. Good for you&#8230;for sticking up for USH. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

When I see my WW do I still have strong feeling of love for her? Yes I admit that I do. I guess if I didn&#8217;t this would be impossible and I would have moved on. Now, that said, most of those feelings revolve around what she was and what I think we could still have if she ever comes out of the fog she is in&#8230;I still don&#8217;t know if that will ever happen. But I will try to hang in there as long as I have those feelings. Admittedly it does get harder and harder as time goes on.

That whole attractive person thing is interesting because I am sure you understand what a blow to self-esteem it is being in our position. So yeah, I suppose a little attention may be a good thing. I also had an e-mail from a female friend of mine yesterday who, sensing I had some of those self-esteem; am I still attractive; what do I have to offer; questions. She made a list of qualities that she sees in me that made me feel better about myself. That self-esteem issue as a BS is a biggie so it helps sometimes that someone can say &#8220;Hey you&#8217;re OK&#8230;&#8221; <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

As for relationship talk with my WW&#8230;I let her initiate it. If she wants to talk then I am willing to do that but if not, that&#8217;s fine too. A lot of times in our recent discussions it has gotten to some deficiencies I have perceived by her&#8230;so I don&#8217;t go around looking to get beat up.

This Friday will be the first time we have seen each other in a couple of weeks. She came to our house for a visit two weekends ago, sat down on the couch and started to cry. She was very emotional and finally left after a very brief visit, saying she just couldn't stay. Who knows what her reaction will be like this weekend?

Cracks in the veneer? If they are there, they are pretty small.

Complicating our situation is that her father is very sick. Cancer. She has spent a lot of time with him and her family, which I give her a lot of credit for. It may be her least selfish behavior over the past two years. She has been a good daughter during all of his illness&#8230;she is basically very compassionate and loving and always was like that to me until the A and all the rest of the stuff that goes with that.

It is very sad to see her lose that passion and compassion toward me/us&#8230;but that&#8217;s all part of this, right?

Her consistent question in all of this is &#8211;How do you get that passion back? I guess I don&#8217;t have a real good answer to that except I know you can&#8217;t get it back living the way we do now&#8230;
You still sound like you are doing well&#8230;keep up the good work unsure...

BTW: I am not sure all men are taken with the belly and thong exposing look... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Take care

E

Hi unsure...

I needed to post this to someone who might understand the thick-headedness and irony of it.

As I noted in a previous post my WW is coming for a visit tonite (Friday) to just hang out, rent a movie etc.

So I had an e-mail asking me what movie I would like to see with a list of titles she was thinking about.

The list included "Unfaithful" HELLOOOOOOOO!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

What on God's green earth would make her think I wanted to sit thru that movie---with her?

To me it is just another indication of serious fog still infiltrating... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I hope things are OK with you...

E

Elad -- Thank you for responding to all of my questions in your previous posts it helps give me perspective on my situation. I know we are all different and that each WS is different, but sometimes it does help to guage this bizarre life we're leading.

As for your most recent post and your WW putting Unfaithful on the potential movie list. All I can say is WTF? and that it's an indication of either clouds and fog descending on her or an indication that she's trying to show you that she would be ok with watching something like that because she's no longer in an A. Who knows what it means, but it is pretty insensitive (probably very inadvertent/not intentional on her part).

I think you ought to get a movie about alien invasion and brainwashing of portions of the human race(symbolizing the WW) and ultimate reclamation of earth and conversion of the aliens back to normal people by the galant hero (symbolizing you of course).

Have a good time tonight.

WH called me last night with a car problem that sounded like an emergency, but when I called back to let him know option A or B would work for me I haven't heard back from him. Who knows?

I went a dinner party at a good friends house last night with some good laughs and conversation so I think tonight will be stay at home and make homemade pizza (prosciutto, pine nut, and basil when I want to really indulge).