Many of you have watched my story. I have been all over this site as well as TOW to find my answers. Many of the answers hurt, some helped. In the end I have learned you just have to suck it up and let go.
Some things I have learned:
#1 When a someone is involved with 2 different people they lie.
#2 There is a difference between loving the person you want them to be and loving the person they are.
#3 Divorce should never be used as a tool to spur action. A divorce is an ending, never forget that.
#4 If you ever really loved someone you will always love them.
#5 Jumping into a new relationship can be good or bad. There is no guideline. It truly depends on the people involved.
#6 This is for the OP's out there: If the WS tells you they aren't having sex with their S they are lying.
#7 Believe 25% of what you want to hear and 75% of what you don't want to hear and you will probably be about right.
#8 Pride has no place in a marriage.
#9 Sometimes all you have to fall back on are your wedding vows.
#10 Misery loves company.
The answers are not on this site or any others. They are within yourself. Use what you learn here and elsewhere to improve yourself. I recommend visiting
www.gloryb.com. It is a different perspective which can be quite painful, but I think it does provide balance. Remember that MB is full of peopled dedicated to marriage. Not everyone feels the same way.
The truth is somewhere in between MB and TOW.
To those who have been able to re-build there marriages I say congratulations. You are very special people.
To those that have moved-on by choice or otherwise, remember what you have learned.
For me I have not given up on love or marriage. I have been fortunate enough to find someone who can live in the real world and will let me be me.
