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I need some opinions please!
#1051068 01/16/03 07:08 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531
Missouri
S
starman Offline OP
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starman
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Missouri
I've been doing pretty good with the plan A thing until about twenty minutes ago. My wife is driving to Atlanta (we live in Missouri) with the OM to pick his child up. I've even handled that pretty well. But she just told me that he may have a schedule conflict sometimes and that she would like to bring his boy over to our house so she could watch him and our daughter. I blew up at that idea and she tried to make me feel bad by saying he was only a little boy and I was being selfish. I said sorry but my wife bringing her boyfriends kid over to play with our daughter was about the most screwed up thing I've ever heard. Was I right or do I have to put up with something like that in plan A?
Re: I need some opinions please!
#1051069 01/16/03 07:12 PM
Joined: Apr 2001
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Texas
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MelodyLane Offline
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MelodyLane
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oh good grief, is there no end to the harebrained ideas these WS' come up with? Your first reaction was right on. It is beyond outrageous that they would even consider dragging a little child into an adulterous affair and then ask the BS to accommodate them! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Hold your ground.

<small>[ January 16, 2003, 06:13 PM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>
Re: I need some opinions please!
#1051070 01/16/03 07:17 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531
Missouri
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starman Offline OP
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starman
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That's what I thought too. Since I am in plan A I figured I should say no in a civil manner but I'm having a hard time coming up with anything but "I have as much compassion for his child as he does for mine." That's probably not the best way to handle this
Re: I need some opinions please!
#1051071 01/16/03 07:26 PM
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
No. Va.
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worthatry Offline
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worthatry
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No. Va.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by scotttina:
<strong>I said sorry but my wife bringing her boyfriends kid over to play with our daughter was about the most screwed up thing I've ever heard.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yep, that about takes the cake.

OK, Scott, your reaction was restrained, IMHO.

Let me offer you the good news:

Her intentions are SOOOOOOOOOO screwed up that it should represent to you how totally SCREWED UP she is right now. Understand?

Only a totally deluded person could imagine doing that.

Take some comfort in this. It's verification that she's currently a nut case and you are not.

WAT
Re: I need some opinions please!
#1051072 01/16/03 08:57 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531
Missouri
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starman Offline OP
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starman
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Missouri
Thanks WAT that does make me feel better. You know I can see her eyes and how far away they look. Just like someone who's crazy. It's very bizarre. I respect your opinions and posts on this board. How should I handle this in your opinion?
Re: I need some opinions please!
#1051073 01/16/03 09:20 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 94
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jack55 Offline
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jack55
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tell her that it's "outta the question. NO!"

that's ridiculous. unbelievable.

that's what "I" would do anyway.

good luck!
Re: I need some opinions please!
#1051074 01/16/03 09:26 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531
Missouri
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starman Offline OP
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starman
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Missouri
Yes jack55 I've heard about the same thing from everyone so that makes me feel better about losing my temper. I guess you can take this plan A thing too far sometimes. You can't be totally agreeable with someone who's insane or you'll become that way yourself!
Re: I need some opinions please!
#1051075 01/16/03 09:39 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 94
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jack55 Offline
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jack55
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well, i'm definitely not an expert. i'm a newbie here, but, man!

i can understand how plan A can work but you have to have a certain character to play that system for long. i'm not of that character.

i'm surprised that i am willing to forgive, much less be 'nice' about the whole thing and offer my support because it's MY fault?!

it looks like i can be reasonable (to MY surprise) but i can't see them taking advantage and having the best of both worlds. nope, not me.

i'm still pi$$ed, but since i do love her so much, and i do understand that this is a fling/addiction/temporary/and it won't last kinda thing. i guess i'll give benefit of doubt and hang in there.....nicely.

but, my wife asks what your wife did and i hit the roof all over again.

that's just my opinion and i know it doesn't fit with what has worked around here for a long time.
Re: I need some opinions please!
#1051076 01/16/03 09:41 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 37
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lady_terry Offline
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lady_terry
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I have to agree with everyone else, though I don't know the polite way to say it to her. Stand your ground.
Bridgette
Re: I need some opinions please!
#1051077 01/16/03 10:24 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531
Missouri
S
starman Offline OP
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starman
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Posts: 531
Missouri
okay I need some help quick now! My wife just called back and said she feels obligated to this guy because he's letting her stay there for free and she needs to contribute in some way. I said I understand your predicament but even though our d doesn't know what's going on I don't want her in the middle of your affair that way (thanks Melody lane) Then it totally broke down and I told her she had picked the easy way out and that the kids were going to grow up thinking that there mom picked some man over them. It got pretty intense. Anyway I had to get off the phone because the baby was crying and she's going to call back in about thirty minutes. How should I handle this?

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