Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531 |
I've been doing pretty good with the plan A thing until about twenty minutes ago. My wife is driving to Atlanta (we live in Missouri) with the OM to pick his child up. I've even handled that pretty well. But she just told me that he may have a schedule conflict sometimes and that she would like to bring his boy over to our house so she could watch him and our daughter. I blew up at that idea and she tried to make me feel bad by saying he was only a little boy and I was being selfish. I said sorry but my wife bringing her boyfriends kid over to play with our daughter was about the most screwed up thing I've ever heard. Was I right or do I have to put up with something like that in plan A?
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
oh good grief, is there no end to the harebrained ideas these WS' come up with? Your first reaction was right on. It is beyond outrageous that they would even consider dragging a little child into an adulterous affair and then ask the BS to accommodate them! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Hold your ground. <small>[ January 16, 2003, 06:13 PM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531 |
That's what I thought too. Since I am in plan A I figured I should say no in a civil manner but I'm having a hard time coming up with anything but "I have as much compassion for his child as he does for mine." That's probably not the best way to handle this
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
Member
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by scotttina: <strong>I said sorry but my wife bringing her boyfriends kid over to play with our daughter was about the most screwed up thing I've ever heard.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yep, that about takes the cake.
OK, Scott, your reaction was restrained, IMHO.
Let me offer you the good news:
Her intentions are SOOOOOOOOOO screwed up that it should represent to you how totally SCREWED UP she is right now. Understand?
Only a totally deluded person could imagine doing that.
Take some comfort in this. It's verification that she's currently a nut case and you are not.
WAT
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531 |
Thanks WAT that does make me feel better. You know I can see her eyes and how far away they look. Just like someone who's crazy. It's very bizarre. I respect your opinions and posts on this board. How should I handle this in your opinion?
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 94
Member
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 94 |
tell her that it's "outta the question. NO!"
that's ridiculous. unbelievable.
that's what "I" would do anyway.
good luck!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531 |
Yes jack55 I've heard about the same thing from everyone so that makes me feel better about losing my temper. I guess you can take this plan A thing too far sometimes. You can't be totally agreeable with someone who's insane or you'll become that way yourself!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 94
Member
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 94 |
well, i'm definitely not an expert. i'm a newbie here, but, man!
i can understand how plan A can work but you have to have a certain character to play that system for long. i'm not of that character.
i'm surprised that i am willing to forgive, much less be 'nice' about the whole thing and offer my support because it's MY fault?!
it looks like i can be reasonable (to MY surprise) but i can't see them taking advantage and having the best of both worlds. nope, not me.
i'm still pi$$ed, but since i do love her so much, and i do understand that this is a fling/addiction/temporary/and it won't last kinda thing. i guess i'll give benefit of doubt and hang in there.....nicely.
but, my wife asks what your wife did and i hit the roof all over again.
that's just my opinion and i know it doesn't fit with what has worked around here for a long time.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 37
Member
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 37 |
I have to agree with everyone else, though I don't know the polite way to say it to her. Stand your ground. Bridgette
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531 |
okay I need some help quick now! My wife just called back and said she feels obligated to this guy because he's letting her stay there for free and she needs to contribute in some way. I said I understand your predicament but even though our d doesn't know what's going on I don't want her in the middle of your affair that way (thanks Melody lane) Then it totally broke down and I told her she had picked the easy way out and that the kids were going to grow up thinking that there mom picked some man over them. It got pretty intense. Anyway I had to get off the phone because the baby was crying and she's going to call back in about thirty minutes. How should I handle this?
|
|
|
1 members (sam59),
249
guests, and
190
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
|
Depression
by ClarencePeterson - 09/22/24 11:19 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,607
Posts2,323,424
Members71,872
|
Most Online3,185 Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|
|