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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531 |
I need some opinions in a hurry. My wife just called and said she feels obligated to help the OM watch his son at my house with my daughter. I said I understand her predicament but even though our daughter won't understand what's going on I don't want her in the middle of her affair that way. Then it got really intense and I told her what I thought of the whole thing and what our kids are going to think when they grow up. I had to get off the phone because daughter was crying and she's calling back in about thirty minutes. Should I just gracefully bow out of this for now since I'm so mad or keep it up? It feels so good to tell her what I'm feeling right now but I don't think anything good will become of it.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Hi,
This is NOT an emergency item. That's what neighbors and relatives are for. You & and your W are neither, correct?
If so, direct your W to have the OM get other help. He has the ability to make other arrangements that will not destroy another's family.
JMHO,
L.
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 531 |
thanks I agree one hundred percent. I'm just sorry I'd been doing really well in plan A and I just lost it. I guess when she calls back I should just say sorry and I'll see her tomorrow?
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
Up to U. That is what I would do. Otherwise, you will deal with your feelings of anger for being used to enable the A.
At least that is my opinion. Think she would have tolerated you doing that to her?
L.
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 439
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 439 |
Ditto what Orchid said. Keep up the Plan A, don't lose your temper. But under no circumstances allow her to watch OM's child at your home. That is a major slap in the face. JMHO.
MTD
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060 |
Scott - what happened?
Sorry I wasn't around to help. It was WAY past my bedtime.
I would have said something like, "Well, I'm not obligated to help care for his kid. My obligation is to MY child and in my opinion, what you want to do will be detrimental to my child. Further, my home will not be used to enable your relationship with another man."
Of course, in her state she would interpret this as, "I am trying to control you so I will not agree with anything you want to do and I will do everything within my power to prevent you from being happy."
WAT
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