O.K. I need to understand something about my H.
This kills me...he trades stocks on the internet all winter long. He is not working because we have a seasonal business. I am getting resentful (again) of it because of the behavior that goes with it. You see, he is an addictive type. We have been through alcohol addiction(rehab 14 years ago) and there have been other obsessions...snowmobiles, his job at that time, the business and now stocks. It's not about how much money he makes or loses, its the behavior. And, he has had 3 A's in 20 years, the first 2 while drinking so that was what I thought was the cause of them...so another after 13 years sober was devastating. Obviously there's more to it than alcohol. Maybe a sexual addiction? I don't know what it's all about but I seem to be the only one wondering...he seems to think it was my attitude that made him do it. Not real encouraging.

On the bright side I have been to counseling and I am on anti-dep medications and have made huge gains. I am much happier than I've been before and feel lots stronger. But the nagging feeling is that he needs to do more to acknowledge and deal with why he has affairs etc. No, it's not because of me. Yep, I was pretty hard to get a long with but there have been some pretty rough things in our marriage too and they were never dealt with, only swept under the rug.

Just need to get some perspective here...I am going to call and get an appointment with the Harleys too.!

MAL,
I'm no expert, but I can relate from my own situation. From what you say your husband is displaying symptoms associated with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I say that because that was the first thing my IC told me, along with being a Narcisist (SP?) and having some sort of sexual addiction they have not figured out yet.

Does he tend to dive in head first 110 mph with new projects or idea's? Does he loose interest after a few months, often not finishing projects? Does he think about new projects constantly in the beginning? How is his self esteem? These are all indicators my IC said I was displaying related to OCD.

It is controllable, but only once the person realizes that they have a problem.

Interesting...He dives in head first to anything new. One of his favorite sayings is "Bite of more than you can chew and chew, chew, chew". But he doesn't lose interest quickly..usually the other end-goes until everyone is sick to death of it and then keeps on going. Just knows he is on the right track, if only he gives it a little more time..heard him say more than once that he knew he was about to make it because his dad and I both were against him (we were tired of hearing how good he was at trading stocks, all the while losing his butt at it). He's a perfectionist, never satisfied.