Hi Everybody:
I'm trying to figure out what's going on. My WS is home on a Saturday night for the first time in months. He seems sad. He's definitely not angry. He asked me not to have an attitude with him tonight because he's trying to deal with all this crazy stuff. TROUBLE IN PARADISE? I think his sweet young thing was wanting him to make a commitment to her and move out into that pretty new condo. When my WS realized how much this would cost him, he backed out. She doesn't know him like I do, of course, that he is a penny-pincher. She will not be able to have a big, pretty house like mine!
Lupolady:
Thank you. I'm planning to Plan A for as long as possible. It does seem to be working as you can tell. He's so surprised that I am being "nice" despite his not being "nice".
That investment issue is a big one for me too. I asked him, when I was LBing, how he could just kick me to the curb after all that I have given to him. I'm a part of all his successes; the "woman behind the man". Then, he thinks he can let another woman take advantage of it. No way. Leave me in this big house with all the responsibilities of upkeep while they have their love nest in a brand new condo. The anger is spilling out. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
I also wonder like you do: What kind of woman would want a man who would leave his family for you? I try to imagine their conversations. Could she really be saying "You need to just go ahead and leave them"? She would be encouraging a man to abandon his teenage son during his last years of high school.
Rob:
I've noticed how its not a good idea to criticize the OP. He is very protective of her and wants to make sure that I don't bother her. I read somewhere that wayward men feel guilty about seducing the OW into a relationship; whereas the reality is the man was probably seduced. That's a major problem for me. The OW is very young,pretty and single. I can't compete with her youth and vitality. Steve Harley told me that I have to fill him up on the other emotional needs so you see my focus on the Domestic. I also provide Financial Security; WS on my health insurance and I have a high-paying job. She is a secretary and works hard for her money; he wants to make sure that I don't make her lose her job. However, my WS does find me Physically Attractive and wants to be intimate with me despite the A. Our major problem has been that he thinks I have not shown him enough ADMIRATION and ATTENTION. Thus, the A with an noneducated, younger woman who builds him up to feel like THE MAN, IN CONTROL. He considers me a know-it-all which is a catch 22 because he likes and needs for me to help him with complicated problems.
NESHA:
You are so rignt. I agree with you wholeheartedly about the WS dealing with internal issues. My WS wants to RUN to the OW when he is stressed. He has actually referred to her as a DIVERSION; he insists that he is not in love with her. However, I feel he is fooling himself. He has that ROMANTIC LOVE that's drugging him. I think his relationship with her has been going on for quite a while.
