The OM called my wife today. He lives down the same road that my job is on. He told her that he saw a blond woman riding in my truck with me today. When I got home my W was very upset (WHY?).I sat her down and explained to her very clearly but without throwing the obvious hypocrisy back in her face that I was not going to be seeing anyone else through this time because I was married and the values that I have regarding marriage and family were as important to me as any I hold on any subject. I said that I was not passing judgement on anyone elses values but just standing up for my own. I ended by reminding her what I have told her I would like to have happen (us trying to work things out) and even if she divorced me tomorrow I would not be seeing anyone else until I worked through and fixed the things that caused me to act the way I did in our relationship. Any opinions on this conversation would be very appreciated.

What you stated was direct, compassionate, caring, thoughtful, and I would of been totally happy with what you said. What was her reaction? You seem like a very thoughtful person, and honest. Good for you, and continue on your path of honesty and admiration and thoughtfulness to your wife.

Ditto what Faith said. Sounds like OM is trying to cuase trouble.

BTW, got your email, sent ya back <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

MTD

thanks. This board and the feedback I get is the biggest help of anything else I do. As you all know when you're going through this you want to question everything you do. It's so helpful to have your opinions on things.

Starman,
You did great, how did she take it?

I should explain a little further. My W got this impression that I might have been seeing this W that we have both known for a long time because she had called me. She knew our situation and had been through the same thing with her husband before. She wanted to let me know that I could call and talk to her if I thought it would help me. She was just being nice. Well my wife saw her number on caller i.d. and then heard this from OM and she jumped to the conclusion that it was her. I have had no contact with this W since she talked to me because I don't care to discuss my situation with anyone. She's also engaged and six months pregnant for God's sake! Anyway, my W was still a little upset though she tried to hide it but she was okay by the time she left and even kissed me goodnight.

Hmm, she's jealous maybe?? My W started showing these types of symptoms just be4 we reconciled. Don't set your expectations to high though. Keep us posted starman. We want to know how it's going. Did you get my e-mail??

MTD

Hey MTR. I did get your e-mail. Thanks a lot it was helpful in a lot of ways. There is no doubt she was jealous. Like I've been saying, over the last couple of weeks her behavior has changed a lot towards me and she said several days ago that she wanted to try and work things out. That's the main reason I've been reluctant to jump into the legal separation and plan B as quick as SH wants me to. I figure I should at least let him know what's going on before I continue. If plan B is all about me and saving my love for my W I would like to wait a little longer. I'm okay with the way things are going, but have no expectations at all. I'm keeping very aware of my feelings and as soon as I feel them changing in anyway I will have no problem going to plan B.