plan b started a few days before i went to vegas for a week. she contacted me by email a few times. she even called the first day i was there and i nicely told her to read my letter again and she could contact me thru email if it had something to do with S. she still tries making other conversation but i just ignore it. well.....kinda.

divorce hearing is set for feb 5 and should be all finalized by the 10th. the fastest divorce my lawyer ever had. 60 days and *poof*

W opened contact with my family while i was away. why? trying to keep her foot in the door? W told my sister that reconciliation was definitely a possibility if things didn't work out with OM. what am i the 5th wheel here? that's no kind of reason for me to take her back, right? still lying out both sides of her mouth.

i'm getting better mentally and physically. i guess i'll hang onto plan b for awhile but as each day passes i get farther away from wanting her back. i still love her and all but why should i finance a 5 figure "pleasure tour", things don't work out (they won't) and she gets to come back? she better have a good plan for NC, etc, that's for sure, because i'm not sure i can forgive.

any thoughts.

thanks,

Jack

my story

hi jack --

I'm confused by your posts title -- what is a "FWIW"?

Stay dark Jack -- don't let her encroach on your plan B boundries -- it won't work if you're not firm. don't stay on the phone long enough for her to start being friendly. Cut her off (nicely)
just keep re-stating your position.

Be firm!

Hey Jack-
Sounds like Plan B is helping.

It's a pretty weird thing to tell your sister. What did she think your sister would say? Can't she see that things won't work out with this OM? Just from your description on paper, one can see his character. Two children out of wedlock does not say much for him.

So you're less than 2 weeks from divorce. Unbelievable.

Your marriage can survive even though you don't know if you can forgive right now. But she has to do the right thing and she hasn't yet. If the chance for reconciliation arises, you will cross that bridge then.

Focus on your game plan. The divorce is a defensive move- you are protecting your assets at this time. If anything, you are guarding your assets for your son long term- and preventing them from being spent recklessly by WW and OM.

Stay strong and take care of yourself. Take this time to slow down. It's a crazy time. Take a deep breath. Meditate a little. Take a walk or a run.

Wishing you strength.

FWIW = "for what it's worth"

Jack-

I'm still blown away at the speed of your divorce. 60 days?! I would guess that most people here have atleast a year before the D talk even gets serious. It's obvious you had to take these actions because of circumstances so take a break once the smoke clears. Plan B is working for you big time so keep limiting that contact and take care of yourself. You've had things moving so quick that I can't imagine how you've had time to process anything. You've been forced to simply react!

"W told my sister that reconciliation was definitely a possibility if things didn't work out with OM."

If things don't work out?! I'll be praying that your W has the courage to face her problems when reality sets in because it sounds like it's going to be a rough landing. Good luck!