I am interested in learning more about the patterns of WSes.

HOW DO YOU DO THE CAKEWALK?
One thing I'm wondering is what could my WS possibly be telling the OW while he is doing his cakewalk. She must have expected him to move into an apartment after D-day. He didn't. He gave the apartment up. He is home every night during the week now and only sees her on the weekend. Is he telling her that he's working on ending it? Does he have to tell her anything? Maybe she takes whatever she can get at this point.

More questions later. Thanks.

Mimi, I'm a BS, so I can't give you the WS view!
But I can tell you what I know of my WH. I gained insight from the emails they had in secret that I found.
He was feeding her a line of BullS a mile long.
Talking about when they had their freedom from respective spouses. All fantasy land for both. Both talked as though they were already divorcing and going to marry each other. Actually, both were blowing Smoke up the others A--! LOL
They talk as though it's going to happen, but it's going to take some planning to keep from losing all they've worked for. Use young children for excuses if there are any still at home. Anything they can think up to stall!
Mine had no intention so he says of ever divorcing me.
In fact, while he was telling her in emails about getting free to marry her, he actually took me on a trip to NV to look at retirement homes for us. We were thinking of selling our home and moving there. Always had been a dream and plan of ours. So one month before going to see her, plans all made for them, he was looking to buy another home with me.
I have no idea what she thought, because she knew of our trip to NV. She mentioned it in email. But I don't know if she knew he was looking at homes with me! I think he probably left that part out. Most likely let her think it was just a trip I bugged him into!
I have no idea how really stupid she is, but people don't add more assets if they're divorcing!
Knowing all this, it still hurts to know that he talked to her about marriage and our divorcing.
And yet, I can look back and know he had no intention and it was all BullS---.
Your WH is probably crying that you are making it hard and will take him to cleaners, or some pity party about leaving his kids, etc.
Any woman that continues, OW I mean without some promises is really in need of a brain transplant! So he's telling her something. Never occurs to them the promises are all bull and they're being used.
Only other thing if he's not telling her lies is she's willing to just be second place all her life!
If you talk to OW, they will tell you about all the promises made and how they kept them dangling.
OW here? Care to give us your story?
Loulou

AS a former WS who's now divorced...I can tell you what the former OP told me. He would visit me on the weekends, after DDay--and live in his 'room' at his home--with his wife there, too.

I was separated a year before OP was separated, for the record. To my knowledge, unlike me, he's still married. Papers were filed but they never went any further.

Lou mentioned something about being used. Yes, I did feel used. One of the things that helped awaken me from my 'fog' was his behavior as far as his wife was concerned. Yes, he moved away from her...500 miles. Yet he refused to call her, in front of me, to ask about divorce status. Red Flag..for sure.

Sorry to go on and on here. BAck to your original question. He told me he lived at the house..during the week..for the children's sake. He also had a thousand excuses for not finding a place in that area, before he relocated. I hated myself for buying his line of baloney , but yet I did. My take on that is simple..the fantasy of an affair is so potent that you dont' care about the real truth that is there. It was intoxicating in some sort of sick way.

Hope that helps somehow.

Take care,
H_P