JL,

He jsut sent me an email that he's asked A to move in and he's give her a ring!

Kily,

I am sorry to hear this Kily. I really am. At least you know the reason for his anger. He was hiding things from you and not telling you what was going on. Meanwhile your telling him what you did probably really made him mad, because he is probably torn.

But, Kily getting a ring and getting married are two different things.

I know you are hurt, but sitting where I am sitting I see things differently. I see a woman that has done her best to make things right. I see a woman that has gotten herself on firm ground and knows herself very well. I see a woman, that told the man she loves exactly how she feels and why.

I see a woman that might finally be free of this mess and allowed to move on to better things. Kily I am so sad. I am sad because you are hurt. I am not sad because of what he did.

It will take you awhile to get through and over this, but young lady you are going to find the love you deserve. You just have a few things yet to accomplish. Getting your education finished. Getting disintangled from the house. Sorting out how your and exBF will handle your son.

But Kily you have grown so much. You have outgrown him. His issues still remain. Perhaps they won't make a difference to his GF and they will be happy. I hope so. But, I see YOU having a very happy life. You are finally ready for marriage and you will appreciate it more than many because of all of the things you have learned.

Take your time and grieve about this. You should, but Kily he may have done you a huge favor. He really may have.

Keep posting and everyone here will help you work through this. But, give it time.

God Bless,

JL

THanks JL-

I feel like I've been hit by a truck.

It's funny, but GOD seems to give you the things that you need when the time is right. I was fortunate that Serenity1 reached out today, I had someone to cry to.......

I know that I will be fine thriugh this, but I am still in disbelief that this is happening. I REALLY believed that this was going to work....

I need to go home.

Thanks for the support.

Kily,

Just one last thought. The word Grace comes to my mind. If this move really made him happy, would you really be bothered as much? I don't think so.

I think all along you have wanted to make right what went so wrong and that meant him being happy. Perhaps with your changes and your interactions with him you have pushed him to do what is really right for him. He may not have the capacity to forgive nor the capacity to change that you have. If he hasn't changed then you need to recall you went together for 8 years, had a child and he never offered to marry you. It says a lot about him, I think.

So while I know you are crushed right now. Look inside and see if deep down you are indeed happy if he is really happy. It means that you have not permenantly harmed him. It means your job may be done with respect to him.

One never knows how things finally turn out. Your life has a long way to go, but I do know this. You will be much happier for what you have done.

Have as good a weekend as you can. I know it will be rough.

God Bless You Kily,

JL

Hi JL -

Just wanted to give you some feedback from the "crisis: mode I was in on friday.

I want to thank you for being there.....I was completely in reactive mode and really needed to just let the emotions run....

I actually was pulled over by the police about five minutes after I left here, luckily they let me go without even a warning.

I'm okay, and believe it or not, I am at peace with all of this, MOST of the time.

I'll go into my feelings and things on my 2003 thread because I think it is important to have the continuity there in the thread in case other people ever refer to it in the future - (such a SAD thought!)