Hi,

I haven't posted in awhile, I have been busy and my life has been flying past. It is 1 month till D-day anniversary. I can't believe how my life has changed in 1 year.

I must truly give testament to plan A. Work on yourself and even if your marriage is not saved, you will be okay. I feel so good about life and about myself. I did not save my marriage. I don't have the desire to anymore. But I am happy and content with my life.

My H will be signing the stipulation papers probably next week. I am glad to have the hassle over with.

I have met someone new who I really like. We have been dating for a few weeks and things are going well. I can hear the sirens going off. I know. But, I am trying to remember everything I have learned. And, no, he has nothing to do with my decision that I was done trying to re-build my R with my H. But it wasn't too long after I made the decision that I met him.

To all my friends, I have been reading your posts and thinking and praying for you all. Sometimes your pain is almost too much to bear, I hope you can all find happiness and peace. I don't post too much because I don't feel I have advice to give, just support.

My family is doing well, the kids seem to be adjusting. Everyone is trying to work together. I am trying my best to make things okay. My STBX still lives in another state so that is hard on the kids. I also think he is planning on getting married. That's okay too.

Well that is about all. Thanks so much to all who helped me so much. I never would be where I am without you all.

Sharon

Hi Sharon,

You sound great and I am glad you are doing so well. Take care!

Sharon,

Yes, the sirene is off the hook. You should wait unless you really don't want STBX at all or no caring love left.

Even 2 minutes to go you still have to wait. However if you want to go ahead; please use 4 gifts of love from the get go and be carefull.

-rh-

FBW,
Take care of yourself, be happy and healthy!! I guess with everything you have been through I don't really have to say BE CAREFUL!! Right? Others will need you on here so don't stray too far!!! OK, I'm gonna say it: Be CAREFUL!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thanks Redhat,

Of course you are right. I have no feelings of getting back with my H. I wouldn't be dating if I did. I realize every story is different and there are no blanket answers for anyone. I am not suggesting that what I am doing is right for anyone else but in my case I am comfortable with my decisions and ready to take my life in a different direction. But I do appreciate your care and I do take your advice seriously. I have no desire to make foolish decisions. Thanks for replying and reminding me to be careful

Hey you gave your H every chance, so don't feel guilty.
I am happy for you! So happy!
Take it slow with the new guy but you have learned alot and have alot to bring to this new relationship.
Your H has his own issues and flaws that have led him to make some very poor choices- that is his problem and I'm happy you can let go of it and move on.

Sharon,
It was quite a coincidence to see your posting this morning. I was thinking of you, earlier today, and wondered how you were doing!

I'm glad to see you're doing well. I admire it so much. I think it's great you've adapted so well to so many changes in your life, in so short a time. I'm glad your kids are doing well, too.

You know your heart and mind like no one else. You and I have very different situations. I can't imagine dating anyone for a long, long time. I still love my EXhusband, and have feelings for him. So we're in different places, you and I, completely. I'm proud of how well you're doing!

Please continue posting here so we can see how you're doing! Thanks for all you've done for me.

H_P

Thanks Espoir, Melody, Neesha and H_P,

Thanks for all the encouraging words. I know the thought of a new relationship is scary, but I am so happy. I am trying to let my mind and heart work together, but I admit it is wonderful to meet someone. I have been lonely for a long time, even before my H left for a couple of years. He was so distant. It is so weird, I never even looked at another guy all those times. But it is hard dating a MAN, I haven't been on a date since high school 25 yrs ago. I was a basket case, still kind of am, but we have hit it off really well. The nice thing is I don't have to hide my R from family and freinds. I know that is supposed to be part of the enticement and excitement of an A, the forbidden, but it is so wonderful to be able to talk about it and share it with the people I love.

Anyway I don't want people to think that is the only reason I am happy. I have been doing better and better as weeks pass. I finally got to a point where things started getting good, about 2 months ago. Then after a brief let down on New yrs eve, things have been great. It was like the end of the year marked a true turning point for me.

Anyway thanks for all your help. I wouldn't have made it this far without my MB friends.

Sharon

Sharon,
I'm glad to see your update.

You've probably heard me say that after dealing with a WS, anyone can seem nice, or at least nicer than the WS. So, take your time and begin this relationship in the manner you want it to continue, with honesty and care.

You sound strong and clear in purpose.

Wishing you the best.

Thanks Lor,

I know. You have given me some great advice. I know I have to be careful. I don't want to just be "in love" with the idea of being with someone. I want to get to know this person. I think he wants to get to know me too. He is a little hesitant too after being in a bad relationship. But, I think there is something there between us. Time will tell. I am going in with my eyes open. And he knows EVERYTHING about my situation. We have been very open with each other. But I know it will be awhile before I can really gauge what is going on.

Thanks Lor, you are the best. I think you said that you got involved with someone before you got your D. So I appreciate any advice. I do know, positively, that I don't want my H back. He would have to change too much for me to ever be happy with him again. Is that selfish? But going through this process with him has made me realize how unhappy I was in our relationship. This may sound like a case of the grass being greener. Really it isn't. It would take days and pages to explain why I feel this way. And it isn't just about the A it involves years and years of things leading up to it. My H is a wonderful man in many ways but the world either revolves around him or it doesn't revolve. I want a relationship that benefits both of us. That we are building something together that makes us both happy. Let's just say the POJA was never a factor in my M. And knowing my H it never would be.

Thanks again for all your friendship. I appreciate it.

Sharon

Football Widow:

I would love to hear your perspective. We both were married for a long time and it now still seems unimaginable to me to live without my WS. If you have time, read my story on THE SEPARATION THREAT, PLAN A NOT WORKING and GIVING ULTIMATUMS. I want to be like you when I grow up! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

THANKS!!!!

Hi Sharon,

Are you meeting your other goals?

Do you have a recommend, and are you using it often?

I suppose I'm wondering how you are doing on balance. That is, are all parts of your life doing reasonably well?

You don't really say how the legal part of things is going. Is it over and done with?

I was in sunny SLC last weekend for the Outdoor Retailer show. Much warmer than usual, but then, we are hitting 70 deg here and that is warm even for us.

Are you really doing as well as you sound?

SS

<small>[ February 04, 2003, 11:17 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

Sharon,
I'm glad you're doing so well. You've been wonderful to help me here on MB.

Please keep posting here so you can continue to inspire me!!

God bless,
H_P

Hi Sharon, seems to be a reunion these days on MB.

I am glad you are happy and that you are trying something new. I was going to give you a whole bunch of advice but decided against it. All I want to say is to remember the lessons you learned and you will be OK. If you see a pattern repeating, then do something different.

You deserve nothing less that the best - don't settle for anything other than that - its your birthright and what God wants for you.

Take care and remember life's supposed to be FUN!!!!
Liz