Where some of you write that your wayward spouses affair affects you. Well, SNL was over tonight to eat dinner and have some fresh juice. I got a juicer, and made carrot, celery, apple juice, & then some grapefruit & Tangerine & mango juice. SNL was not exactly excited about the carrot etc. juice, and said the grapefruit juice was a little heavy. Maybe just getting used to it will happen.

Anyways, the story tonight was a woman gave her little baby daughter a high dosage of anti-depressant to euthanisize the baby. Cause the baby had a disease of the Jewish nationality, can''t remember the name of the disease. The child by the age of 5 would be mostly brain dead.
She took the baby to the river after it died in her arms, and tied the body to a bag and watched the baby sink down into the water.

What happened was the woman had an affair with a co-worker, got pregnant, and her husband didn't know at first that the baby was not his. He did over some period of time. And when the baby was diagnosed with this disease, (baby has red flecks in the eyes) of Jewish Nationality, they found him to not be of Jewish Nationality. He was catholic, and changed to the Jewish religion. The father of the baby was Jewish, and his brothers wife gave birth to a baby that had this disease too. It turned out that the father of the baby did not know that she became pregnant, until he saw the story in the paper.

They talked about the affiar, and the man said he only had sex once with her. Of course it only takes one time. Just the story of the baby was dreadful, but to hear about the affair, and the deceit, the lies, just made me cry. I was on one couch and SNL was on the other couch. He didn't know that I was crying, cause I had the bird on my chest, and she was roosting. And so I just diverted my attention to her, and prayed, please Lord, get me through this night. I wanted my husband to hold me, to ask if this story was upsetting me. But there was nothing. It hurt, to hear another story about deceit. It hurt to not have SNL realize I was having a hard time. I wanted to get up and leave, but I said, I have to get through this. Why doesn't he recognize the pain some stories cause the betrayed spouse.

I went to a specialist for my neck today. I am seeing her Monday, and she is going to talk to my Dr. Also, she said, there is most likely going to be an MRI of the neck area. I got dizzy for her, and she was so kind, and patient and we talked about quite a few things. She gave me a good book to read. She said, that I am definitely in post stress traumatic syndrome. I am shakey, and when we started talking about stressful things, that my bloodpressure went up, and I have nervous energy in my back, (guarding), and my feet. She said you have very active feet, I told her yes, at the court building I was shaking my foot, and my mother even took my foot in her hand and held it. My lawyer told me to take a sedative. I am a emotional mess.

I am to read this book called 'Walking the Tiger', and it talks about PSTS. I also went to my gyn for annual checkup today. She asked how I am doing, and we talked, she also said I am nervous, and she feels that I am also PSTS. I told her that my shoulder Dr. recommended me to see a Dr. for nutrional and vitamin and herbal supplement. She knows of this Dr. and said she is very good, expensive, but good. Also, she changed my Zoloft, to Lexapro. I am to take 50mg of Zoloft and 10mg of Lexapro. For the transition. Then when the Zoloft is done, I just take the Lexapro. She said it wouldn't hurt to try. And I will probably be on this for about a year. She said maybe longer. But I told her I am going to First STep, private counseling, and she told me that going away this weekend is good for you. I got hard on myself about a subject, and she said, don't you do that. I am to talk to her in 2 weeks, she wants to see me then. And then she said that she would like for me to stop in once a month to say hi, and she wants to see how I am doing. We talked, I cried, she cried, and we hugged.

I came home, and was delighted to see that the juicer was delivered. I was excited for my family, but all in all, they were not to excited about the flavor. I admit I was disappointed. I was looking forward to everyone having a good taste of real homemade juice, and enjoying the juice. But I should of not expected it, and just let it go. So I am letting it go. Was really disappointed that SNL didn't really enjoy it. But maybe he will with the next batch. Our son 16 yr old, said the juices were good, and he will drink it. Good for him.

I am a bit down today, all I seem to do is go to Dr.s and counseling. What a life of knowing that I am a screwed up woman. But hopefully, with the new anti-depressant, I will find some happiness and beable to live.

I do love my husband. This I know for sure. That is the hard part of this life. He doesn't love me, and doesn't show me any affection. Hard to handle, but I will have to get over it. I love you SNL. And today was a tough day. I am glad you got your physical over with. And enjoyed a dinner at my house. Good night all, the drugs are kicking in.

My 19 year old son and I watched Jay Leno cause Oprah was on. It was funny, and I can imagine what the gossip papers will write. She really looks good, lost weight. And is firm. She doesn't have much love handles. Wish I could work out too. I am going to ask SNL if I can go with him to the gym to help him, and see if I can do a little. Just ot help him and be his buddy. Good night all. See ya Monday. I am going to be gone the whole weekend helping my friend get her apartment organized for her. She is having exploratory surgery Feb. 10. She is a very strong christian woman, and I can at least do this for her. Love in HIM. Bye Bye.

The disease you're referring to is Tay Sachs. A nasty one indeed.

I love Law and Order though I dare say we will have to wait to watch that episode here.

It is hard to watch storylines which involve an affair. I mean to say you can't miss them. Some shows its like everyone is doing just everyone and then some.

What you described ,Law and order did focus on the negatives of an affiar.. bravo for them, not many shows do do it. More often than not they are glorified.
There are no winners in this type of betrayal, just a pity more tv programmes, magazines and what have you dont portray them in their proper light.

Hi Faith4me,

I'm glad I missed that episode of Law and Order! Sometimes I can watch that stuff and sometimes I have to turn the channel or go do something else--this is a time when doing something else is best for me. You know, I used to keep watching even though it "messed me up" because I thought I was proving that I was tough or strong or something. I don't know why I thought it was weakness if I didn't "tough it out." Now I dont even care if it even has anything to do with being strong or weak, etc--I just do what's best for me and my life at that particular time. It used to be that my FWH didn't have a clue when that stuff was on and that made it even worse for me--now he's the one most uncomfortable with it. Maybe it's the difference between fogged and unfogged? The unfogging process seems to take so darn long too!

About the juicing--I think the carrot juice is disgusting LOL BUT, if enough apple is added then it's bearable! Most juices can be sweetened with apple thank goodness LOL Have you made lemonade yet? It's just apples and a quarter lemon--it's the best lemonade I have ever had! Ok, it's time for me to get out my juicer again--I had forgotten how good fresh juice is, especially oj. I used to peel the oranges while watching tv the night before.

Faith4me, I know how it gets to be a drag when our lives seem to totally revolve around therapy, support groups, drs, etc. I had to do that a number of years ago for about 2 years. It seemed that I would never have a "real life" like others did. The truth is that I would never have had "my real life" if I hadn't done intensive work on myself during that time. Keep going Faith4me--your progress is happening even when you don't feel the benefits of that yet, but you will. Please believe me when I tell you that you will!

Take care Faith4me

dino-.. seems most series just bypass the affair, as everyday life. They don't know the true hurt in the betrayed spouse, and the families of the betrayed spouse. If they would realize, how watching the shows turn your stomach, create a headache, I wanted to get up and walk away last night, but like Yet Again said, she wanted to prove to herself that she was strong. I guess I wasn't strong. I guess the statements still hurt, and that is why it affected me the way it did. It didn't seem to affect my wayward husband. But of course I was concentrating on the bird, more than anything. Just to get my mind off the affair.

Would be nice to see the hurt, the betrayal of the BS on the shows, to show the pain, the torment, the psychological affects, and how the kids are hurting. The WS think they only hurt themselves, if they were to look at all the people surrounding them and all the affects of the affair that has done damage, maybe then the fogg would of lifted and they can see for themselves that what they did was plain uncaring, and unthoughtful. Yes, I am hurting, and my kids are hurting.

Yet again. I like the juice, my massologists husband gives me a glass every morning when I go to her house.I find it filling, and refreshing. Too bad the kids don't like it. What is the ratio of apples per lemonade. Is it 3/4 apple, and 1/4 lemon juice? The complaint that SNL made was that it is thick. Do you do anything to make it thinner. I truly like the thickness, and find it is flavorful. Do you add water, or another juice to dilute it some?

What about limes? Have you done anything with limes, and lemons, to make a refreshing citrus drink? I am excited about the juicer. And was hoping for more positive feedback, from SNL and the kids. But I will work at it more, and find something that they are more apt to enjoy and flavor.

Well, I guess I am on my way to my friends house. She is grateful for me coming up to her place, and help her organize her place. We are getting together tomorrow after church for a luncheon at the church. She is making a dish, and it is a potluck dinner. So that is really great, I have met few of her friends before at the church. Now I don't have to come home till Monday. She has a Dr. appt. at 3pm, and So I will leave before that and head home. She has to go in for her pre-op appt. This will ease her mind, knowing that her place is organized, and everything put away, and pictures hung. to create a home environment. She deserves this pleasure, and I am glad to beable to help her out.

Pray for all the famlies of the shuttle. This is so sad and the poor famlies. They were there to see the arrival of their families, and now nothing. And they were all so young. Lord, help these famlies to accept this fatal accident. Lord, ease their minds, knowing that what happened was quick. Please give them courage and strength to continue on, and help them find peace in the loss of their loved one. Give the little children something to relieve the pain that they feel for their daddys & mommys.

This must be awful for the President to endure. After his speech, and the war, and now this. Lord, help our nation and help our President to make the right decision. Amen.

Hi Faith4me,

My juices were not as thick because I added extra apple to sweeten the vegetable juices and that thinned it down some.

Lemonade = 4 apples (cut into narrow wedges), 1/4 lemon, with the skin (sliced), pour over crushed ice. I didn't use crushed ice, and I kept the apples in the fridge so they were cold.

I think it is worth the money to buy a juicing book that has more info in it than just recipes. For example, oranges need to be peeled while lemons do not and apples must be cored before juicing them. If I remember correctly, apple is the only fruit that should be added to a vegetable juice.

Let me know how you like the lemonade!

Take care

I saw that episode. Made my W squirm. Wonder why?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

MTD

Thanks for the recipe. I just got home last night. And am off to masso. and counseling today. Will make the drink for tonight for dinner. Am looking forward to tasting this luscious drink, and maybe I will get a book on juices.

Once again thanks.