Yup, yet again!! For those that don't know, my W had 3OM's, and 1OW. OM's 1+2 have both broken NC, via phone calls, showing up at our job etc.. My W and I (in R since Oct2) are both managers at the same resteraunt. We took the job (it was a huge demotion and paycut for me) so we would have more time together. Both of the mentioned OM's have come in to make their presence known. OM#2 to try and see W, and OM#2 it seems specifically to F*** with me. He used to be a very good friend of mine btw. If you'd like to see some of his antics, see my thread in pa/pb. This most lates one, today, he came through our pick up window. I didn't see him personally. He asked my cashier if I was there, then asked her to give me a note. He didn't give his name, but by her description it was him. Also by his note, which basically said in a nutshell "haha..I banged your W". There was a little more to it, but that's the gist of it. He's done this before, he's always very nasty about it, and no matter how many times I confront him he always comes back. I've been told by the local police there's not much I can do unless I want to restrain him from the business, in which case I would have to let my boss in on why I need him restrained. So what do I do? The only idea that sits in my head right now is to go find him and make sure the very idea of ever seeing me or my W again makes him shudder. I know this really isn't an option, would feel good though. Would probably get me in trouble also. Not what I need right now. Suggestions anyone? BTW, I've even tried calling his mother. Didn't work. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

MTD

you should leave him a note too-maybe something like this:

are you really sure what you are eating???? have a nice dinner!

hire a hitman???

or speak with your boss, perhaps tell him this man is invading your work place with his personal issues and is becoming quite distractive. I doubt he would really want to know the whole deal . I am sure your a valued member of staff, your boss should be quite willing to do this.

I hope you kept the note. I am hoping that the OM is married because I would suggest you talk to his wife and show her the note as well. By the way what does your wife think of all this? Is she remorseful for all of her affairs and all of the pain she has put you through? I hope she is and hopes she realizes that most men would have left her after so many betrayals.

madly_deeply_truly, it's time to contact an Atty and have a nice little letter sent to this As-----. This is harrassment and on the job too! This would call for a lawsuit for special damages if he interferes with your job.
You need a lawyer who is of course aware of the harrassment laws, to send a nice scare letter! Just getting it from an atty may scare him.
Then sit with your boss if need be. Do not have to tell him of A's. But you can say this man is threatening you and harrassing due to an old grudge. This is threatening your job btw!
As for wife? Has she told this guy off? You can put a restraining order against this guy! Your boss should approve it also.
Make this guy look like a terrorist if you have to!
BTW, why are you still with this W? Sorry, but I think you've gone the extra mile with her. LouLou

MTD - As long as your wife is still in a good recovery with you, and this doesn't make it harder by having these jerks show up like this -- That's my main concern here. At least I hope your W can see them for the morons they are when they continue to break NC and behave like this.

I'm sorry you had to deal with this today.

ALS

Might be a good idea to show the note to your W so that she can further see what kind of a human excrement OM#2 is. Hopefully this will reinforce her beleif and decision that having ended her A with him, was more than correct. Who knows, maybe she'll writte him a note stating that sex with him was the worse she's ever had (that would certainly deflate his male ego).

I also second the idea of going to an attorney and finding out what your legal options are because the police (with their workload) are not going to bust their chops to go after him. If you know his place of employment, consider contacting his boss, because if he is doing his harassment of you on company time, he may be setting his employer liable for any damages.

Good luck.

<small>[ February 04, 2003, 04:25 AM: Message edited by: CoffeeMan ]</small>

Thanks for the responses all. I haven't told my W yet. Anytime this happens, or something like it, she seems to get upset with me that I am upset. Or something like that. Anyway, it's like it's not supposed to bother me when this crap happens. I hadn't considered contacting an attorney. I might do that. I have no idea what the harrasment laws are FL, I guess it's time I found out.

MTD