Hi,

I will try to make this as simple as possible.

EMPLOYEE X

1.) Comes in late just about everyday.
2.) DEMANDS paycheck to be ready 1st thing in morning of payday.
3.) *****es, Complains,Major Attitude about work
4.) Wouldn't come in early to help out.Comes in 1/2 hr past the start of shift and still gets paid
5.) Lies
6.) Makes other Co-workers miserable
7.) Other Co-workers have left bc of Employee X

Boss
1.) Never says anthying to Employee X about being late
2.) Has paycheck ready every time
3.) Won't tell Employee X to shut the **** UP
4.) Paid Employee X regular pay
5.) Just stood there & listened to Employee X tell what happen during the day(Lie)Other Employee standing there listening called Employee X on it, Employee X denied.
6.) Doesn't seem to care
7.) The other Employees have left for other reasons.(the Boss saying this) When they have told him the reason.........Employee X

So with that. You tell me................Who
is really the Boss????

Anyone????

<small>[ February 04, 2003, 11:12 AM: Message edited by: VIRGINABEAN1122 ]</small>

Anyone???

I wouldn't say boss, I would say bed buddy, but that could be just me. I do tend to slant that way these days..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

VB - we can tell you're not happy with either employee X or the boss.

This the Marriage Builders forum. Do you have issues with your marriage you need help on?

Neesha and Worthatry,

Thanks for posting.
I will answer your question after I give you a lil more info.

EMPLOYEE W

Employee W runs every aspect of the Business for Boss for the exception of Employee Scheduling, Paychecks, Maintenance and Repairs.

1.) Greets Employees every morning.
2.) Gives Employees Assignments, taking phone calls, getting kids ready for school.
3.) Employee X has a child.(brings to work)Employee W takes that child along with her children to the bus stop everyday for school.
4.) Picks up Employee X child from daycare if work runs late.
5.) Has listened to Employee X *****, complain and lie.
6.) Has gotten [censored] chewed out by Employee X while Boss listening.
7.) Has bent over backwards to make Employee X comfortable, and to make things run as smooth as possible.
8.) Has had to listen to other Employees complain about the Attitude of Employee X

Ok..........so, Employee W can handle the situation, not that big of a deal when Employee X has attitude in check.But when Employee W can't stand it any longer bc Employee X is out of control, talks to Boss about it. Nothing is ever done.
******PAST********
Boss had affair with Employee X while dating and plans of Marriage to Employee W (not really an employee, girlfriend....trying to help with the business)Boss and Employee work it out get married and now we are to the present.

When Employee W has talked with Boss about going to counciling and Marriage Builders(3,4 times over a 8 month period)to talk about the problems with the business and M. Nothing every happens.
(Both Boss and Employee W are very familar with MB principles)

When Employee W has told Boss that he needs to Kick Employee X in the [censored] for attitude and the Lies. Boss says this all to familar PHRASE.

"I think that I know what this is really about"!

EXCUSE ME??????? WHAT?????
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME RIGHT?????

Hi Virginiabean1122,

I have been reading here for some time because of my situation and yours is the first post that I can actually respond to honestly because it hit a very sensitive nerve, I was there at one time in my life. I'm trying to fix the damage that I created and recover what I had once had and hopefully so can she, not sure if I can really help you. Note, once again that this is my first post so don't expect much, I'm still trying to grasp the concepts.

I didn't really get it when you first posted. The later posts give more info and it is obvious that you are not happy with the situation right now.

How do "you" fit into this equation? We have heard about Employee X and W. Are there more involved and how are you involved in this? How long have you been married? I would really like to help.

Just Paul...

Paul,

Where do I fit into the equation?
I am the Employee W=(wife)

I have lost all respect for my H (Boss)
How can I respect a man that is affraid to
"Be the bad guy"? That is what he told me a couple of wks ago. I replied.... "What? The Boss, be a bad guy? I have never heard of such a thing." The way he handles the business and his employees is so unprofessional.

For Example:
He talks to one employee about another employee
laughs makes jokes. He says it's all in fun..."just playing". I say it is something that the employees do................not the Boss!

Another Example:
I sometimes need help with a letter or something that he needs to do. I have to ask over 3 times to get it done. I have stuff on my desk that have been there for over 2-3 months that are still not done.

Like I said earlier, I answer all the phone calls
around the clock, 24/7.
I would be sleeping and the phone will ring, I wake up realize that H is in the office on the computer(bedroom & office are next to eachother. he can hear the phone.)I still handle the call, crawl back into bed and then wonder if he is awake why can't he get the phone?

One of "our talks" I told him that I wanted to take turns answering the phone calls like an every other day kinda thing.To take some of the work off of me. Did that happen?
Hell no.

I don't get it????

I have turned into this nagging, complaining wench and I hate it! This is not me, who I am.

He doesn't get it!

Employee X should be booted out the door!! A aside, it sounds like she just isn't a very good employee!! Is the boss afraid that she may have some dirt on him, or can get him in trouble...??

Straycat,

No.......no dirt to be had/found.

They have been friends for like over 15 years.
Had a brief affair a couple of years ago. But have continued to see/work with eachother every day.

He once told me that he is the one in "A no win situation." If he has a talk with Employee X about work attitude, then she comes back with the batting eyelashes and lil poor me voice, "your just saying this bc Employee W doesn't like me bc of what happen in the past."

I told him that her coming in late has nothing to do with me, and all the other crap it is undisputable. The only thing I hear is.
"I think that I know what this is really about."

I do need to add something in his defence.

When the one employee left bc of her he then was forced to work with her full time.(very sm company) I could only take about a month of it. Had a talk with him and told him that he needed to find some one else to work w/her full time.
He did and now only works w/her 1-2 days a wk.
He did that for us. I have told him how much I appreciated that, but he will never really know how much.

OK - correct me if I'm wrong. Employee X had an affair with your H? And your H is the boss? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Whatever happened to no contact? Why is this woman still in the picture at all? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Like I said - correct me if I'm wrong. I might have mis-read what you posted.

Phyxius,

Yep, you have it right. They had the affair before we got M. We were dating & talking of M.

The reason why she is still in the picture?
No Clue? (well, of course I really do. Even in the smallest of ways she is still meeting his needs, and he doesn't want to give that up.) According to him, She is good at what she does, her skills with the job. (that I won't disagree with)

But coming in late, demanding her paycheck, complaining all the time, making my life and other employee miserable, must not count for anything.

Several times he has said "Fine you want me to fire her?" Of course I have always come back with "NO! not once have I ever said that". I am defending her. Is it fair to fire someone if you have never talk to them about the problems, she needs to have the chance to straighten up. If after that nothing changes then you have the right to decide what to do.

He doesn't get it. I can barely look at him, I am so hurt and disapointed I can't see straight.

Once again I have asked to go to counceling.
I haven't gotten any response.

What am I supose to do?

***RANT ON***

Regardless of how good she may be at her job, is he her boss or her Ex-Boyfriend? I'm sorry, but this just doesn't pass the smell test. Given the fact that she is the ExOW and a cr*ppy employee, she should have been out the door long ago with bootprints on her b*tt!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

***RANT OFF***

Ahhhhhh... I feel better now. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Seriously -

As the ExOW, she should not be anywhere near your H. The fact that he still has her around is worrysome at best. She really should have been out of the picture the entire time.

An idea...

Next time he asks you "Fine you want me to fire her?" say YES. When he counters with "I think that I know what this is really about," say something to the effect of - regardless of what this is about, it's what needs to happen here and YOU KNOW IT!!! Then see what he says.

Just a thought,

Sean

Phyxius,

I have been ranting for months.
I hate it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I wish that I could say to him, "Yes fire her."
I can't............just can't. It goes against everything that I am.

Now if he talks w/her, gives her a chance to straighten up and she doesn't,.... then maybe.

He doesn't seem to get that this isn't really about her, it's more about him.
I don't like feeling this way about him. I am going out of my mind, I hate!

Fire the wench. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Reason? She causes too much discord in the workplace. Does not get along well with co-workers. Constantly comes in late. People have been fired for less.

You and your husband should not have any contact with her, in order to heal.

Employee W (not really an employee, girlfriend....trying to help with the business)Boss
Are you an employee? Do you get a regular paycheck and are on the schedule or are you only his wife "helping" out around the business?

I still handle the call, crawl back into bed and then wonder if he is awake why can't he get the phone?
You answer it, why should he?

Guess I was right then before you gave the rest of the story VB, I'm sorry.
So what do you think is going to happen and is H getting his "reality check"? So you were his GF then you both got married, well seems to me you have some hiring/firing rights now. Is this still going on?

Straycat,

Your right. It has been very difficult for me to learn to trust him again. I know that nothing is going on between them, I do, but it makes it hard not to think about what happen when he is always defending her and makes a comment like "Your going to start your period soon aren't you."

Chris,

NO, why would my H give me a paycheck when he pays the bills? (he has given me pay checks when needed to pay some of my bills before we got M.Over the last year and a half he has given me around maybe 10-12 checks.When the pay schedule is every other week.)NO, I am not on "The schedule" I don't do what the other employees do.
I don't want to be rude here, but. I am not just the "lil wife" "helping out" w/the business.
*****I AM THE BUSINESS*****
If I didn't do all that I do 24/7, there wouldn't be any business to be had.

I answer the phone calls bc that is just another job that I said I would do. So what your saying is I should just stop answering the calls let him do it. Oh, yah that's MATURE. He gets mad at me for not answering it I'm mad at him for being mad at me.......that makes perfect sence.

I went to him and asked for help with the phones, I thought it was a pretty fair deal.Bc I have been so over loaded WITH EVERYTHING. And he knows it.

Nothing happen.

Neesha,

Honesly, I don't know if he has gotten a "reality check" or not.

Yes, it is still going on.

<small>[ February 07, 2003, 09:52 AM: Message edited by: VIRGINABEAN1122 ]</small>

Neesha,

You know, after reading all of this and thinking.
Maybe he has. He gave me a single red rose the other day and said "I'm sorry for being such a jerk." I was so caught off gaurd I didn't know what to say. I know he loves me. But we need counseling.

I didn't mean for it to sound as "just the l'il housewife."

Either you are an employee or not.

Since you are "the business" then YOU need to fire her for imcompetence.

You better make sure you have it all documented, else he could very easily get into trouble as the boss (or is he?) sexually harassing the employee.

NO, why would my H give me a paycheck when he pays the bills? (he has given me pay checks when needed to pay some of my bills before we got M.Over the last year and a half he has given me around maybe 10-12 checks.When the pay schedule is every other week.)
For tax purposes of the business and you, it is far, far better to get a paycheck.

I answer the phone calls bc that is just another job that I said I would do. So what your saying is I should just stop answering the calls let him do it. Oh, yah that's MATURE. He gets made at me for not answering it I'm mad at him for being mad at me.......that makes perfect sence.
You brought the subject up! I was pointing out you answer it because it is your job! Why are you even thinking of complaining about why he doesn't do it?!?