Hi all,

I haven't been posting much around here for a while, just mostly lurking, but now I could use some advice.

XH and I were heavily involved in a historical re-creation group, as were most of our friends. Since last spring, I have avoided participation in this group because it's just a painful reminder of the fact that we are no longer together.

This coming weekend one of our friends is going to be recognized with the highest award for achievement in a particular aspect of the group. This is a pretty big deal, something he has worked towards for a long time.

I am 99% positive that both XH and OW will be there, as XH has already received this award, and he and OW both consider this man a close friend. I want to see my friend be honored, but I do not know if I can handle seeing XH and OW together - this will be the first time I would see them as a couple.

I will have other friends there to support me, and I have lost a significant amount of weight since the last time I attended an event, so this will be an opportunity to show that off. I'm just not sure how I will react when I see them together.

Can anyone offer advice on how they handled a similar situation?

Thanks!

Hi Jelly Girl -- I routinely have to see WH and OW (though thankfully not together, but I'm sure that is coming and I received two invitations to an event from a mutual friend -- one was addressed to WH and I and the other to WH and OW).

It will be hard to be sure, but I think if you value this friend and want to honor him you should go as an indicator to yourself that you are not going to let xH and OW change anymore more of your life than they already have. The way I look at it is that I can hold my head up high at public events without shame and I should not have to alter my social life and professional life in order to accomodate them. I wasn't the perfect wife, but I didn't do anything to warrant what they've done and neither have you.

Look your best and focus on the friend receiving the award.

2 words.....

wonder bra

Go, show off, and get this over with. You're bound to run into one or both of them eventually. Might as well get past this now, and you will be empowered for the future. It won't be as bad as you imagine. Got any stud-muffin friends to hold onto your arm?

I am not kidding about the bra either! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Unsureheart,

Thanks for your input. I need to read your threads - I can't believe someone would send invitations like that!

You are right, I shouldn't have to alter my life any more than I already have... and a lot of people know what they've done (she dumped her H who is also in the group) so my presence will probably bring that to the forefront of many minds. It will also be interesting to see how they behave with me there... but the emotional toll could be high. That's what scares me.

Pepper,

LOL!!!!!!!!! Funny you should mention that, I was thinking about going bra shopping after work... I have to make a costume (by Friday!!) to wear to this, so if I do it, it'll be something that is, pardon the term, "boobalicious"!

You are right, it will happen sooner or later, getting it over with would be good... and since I have more weight to lose, the next time I show up and I'm even smaller will be even more fun!

Thanks!