I thought I would be a basket case but I guess I am getting stronger. It makes me sad to see so many things ruined in our lives but I know I have tried and it is now up to him. I went out to eat with my D. and grand baby because I wasn't just going to sit around and feel sorry for myself. I can control myself and how I handle things and I am not letting him control my emotions any more. H. went to a work counselor yesterday, he had been let go from work a week ago nad it is a minister, I guess he told him everything and he talked to him again today. I am going to call this guy and talk to him myself but I don't know. This last lie my H. told was a biggie and I can't trust anything he says right now. We are basically in no contact just e-mail. I did call him this evening and he was pretty much feeling sorry for himself, "i wasn't going to get you a card because you would probably get rid of it" Well what kind of card does he think he could get that would express anything when he is still in an affair and doesn't know what he wants? But I am not going to fall into the trap of feeling sorry for him, that won't help him or me. I can't fix him and don't want to try anymore. If he wants an adult, real realationship with me, maybe someday we can work on that, but he needs a lot of C. and he has to do the work. Thanks all of you who have responded to me in the past, Orchid, Ark are a couple, it helps to have support. DBD

Hi DbD,

I hope you had a nice dinner with your Daughter. I will try to send you some 'rejected hallmark' cards via e-mail tomorro and hope you get a kick out of them...... LOL!!

You are right to pull back and let others help him. You know this A stuff often doesn't sit well with others. So if he is trying to pull the wool over the eyes of others, he will eventually be told.

In the meantime, you do keep moving forward. His line about not sending you a card is full of crap...... he could have sent you a card anyway.... arrggh..... maybe you can find one to use in the list I will send you tomorrow!?!?! LOL! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

take care,
L.