Well the day started of bad, my H's OW wouldn't get him on the phone for me when I had to call her house and ask him to pick his 1 son up, because I had to take my other son to a b-day party. She said why is your car broke and she hung up on me, so I called back and my H answered this time. He said I will call you, don't you call me. Well after I got a shower with my hair wet, my son was getting dropped off a few miles away in about 10 minutes. Well of course my husband had his cell phone turned off, because his girlfriend won't let him even talk to me. So I called her house and she hung up on me and I couldn't be ready to hurry and go pick up my son. So I called her ex husband to give my H the message and she told her ex she would and my H would call me. Well my H never called and she never gave him the message to say my son needed to be picked up then and I wasn't ready yet. I was so mad that I yelled at my husband. My H said I told you not to call her unless it was an emergency, well I thought that was a pretty darn good reason that I had to get in touch with him quick.
Then in the evening we took my younger son and my H and I went to eat and everything went fine. Then my H and I went out for awhile, he said he will probably go live at his dads sometimes, our house sometimes and his girlfriends house. Well that just set me off and he got po'd and walked out and screamed and yelled at me saying I repeat myself and not for me to call him he will call me. I am so sick and tired of getting the blame when he is living with his OW, he just always has to say I hurt everyone and everything is my fault. I hate myself so bad. I have no self confidence at all anymore, I can't go grocery shopping or anything that I always enjoyed doing.

Goldi,

I need to catch up with your sitch.... your H lives with OW? Did your son ever get picked up?

Is H's relationship with OW now putting your family in jeporady? If so, take legal action. You have work on having declared as unsafe or unfit.... if his A is more important than taking care of his son, then check out your legal options. When my Ws left to go on vacation while I stayed in the emergency room with our son (who was having what they thought was an asthma attack), I was furious. I went to a laywer and began working on my options. Neglect carries weight in most areas. When I told the lawyer what had happened, no sympathy for the Ws existed. It shouldn't have.

From that point on I worked on protection myself and my child. Ws was locked out of the home and his visits (expect for 1 visit when I went out of town) were supervised. Even then I had constant phone contact. He was not allowed to have the OW near my child and he was to be accessible 24/7.

L.

I think his relationship is because I don't think she will let him even call here to talk to the kids, because today after he left here he said I will try to call later if I can. It's like because of me he can't even have contact with his kids. She is driving him away slowly from his kids. She has 3 kids and she doesn't have them so what does that mean her ex has them. Does anyone have any suggestions what kind of ultimatum I can give him that might work so he realizes what he lost or will lose? I made my mistakes and I hate what I did, but the ow is driving him away and I am afraid I will lose him for good.

Can someone please give me some advice on ultimatums??

Can some one please give me some advice on this?

Don't underestimate the power of love. The more the OW tries to keep him away from his children the more he will see her for what she is.

In order for him to see that, he may need to fall in the mud more and you may need to let him.

What do you do in the meantime? Read up here. Seems silly but if you read the others posts you will find that most of us came back to our senses by reading and listening. Get with a good MC or if you can call for an appointment with STeve or Jennifer.

Work on yourself and they will help you get ready for whatever is ahead. Sounds like the OW is messing herself up anyway......it is only a matter of time.

take care,
L.

Don't underestimate the power of love. The more the OW tries to keep him away from his children the more he will see her for what she is.

In order for him to see that, he may need to fall in the mud more and you may need to let him.

What do you do in the meantime? Read up here. Seems silly but if you read the others posts you will find that most of us came back to our senses by reading and listening. Get with a good MC or if you can call for an appointment with STeve or Jennifer.

Work on yourself and they will help you get ready for whatever is ahead. Sounds like the OW is messing herself up anyway......it is only a matter of time.

take care,
L.

But he doesn't see any wrong in her right now. What if he never does, he just says she never hurt him. But yet he has been lying to her about seeing me still. And plus his drinking isn't helping with the situation. He keeps on saying he tries to come home, but I can't see how he is trying when he still lives with her.