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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 129
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 129 |
I posted on recovery board too . H has been living with ow since May and came to me a mo. ago to reconcile . She was suppose to leave while he was on a 2 wk. trip but I know her furniture is still there. He says he will not stay in the house if he gets back and she's still there . Does it matter what he told her to get her out. Or is it immaterial to us reconciling how he gets her to leave the house. I feel like ow waiting for him to finalize this. He told her it was over but not that we were going to try to reconcile . This doesn't feel right . Should it matter to me how it happens as long as the end result to for her be be out of the picture ??
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950 |
khb5 you have to set boundaries. Boundaries like being open and honest with you and not finding out the truth by yourself or thur others. If he is truly serious about reconciling then he will be truthful with you and will not keep you in the dark regarding his methods on getting rid of the OW.
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 129
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 129 |
This isn't about being in the dark , is it ? I feel like it's about whether it matters HOW he gets her out . Does it matter if he if he doesn't come clean with her because he's worried she might harm herself and he thinks it's better for her to just think it's over without going into detail about us . To me it matters that she knows why she's getting the boot -should it matter to me ?? I just don't know
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950 |
Yes it does matter. He needs to tell her the truth because otherwise, she'll get the wrong impression that there is hope for them to be reunited at a later time. There is no way to avoid the pain this will cause her, but IMNSHO it's much more painful (and cruel) to leave her in limbo with some shred of hope when there is none. This way, the healing will begin much faster for all parties involved.
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