I'm sure you're all bored with hearing me whine and complain but I really think my marriage is over.
Yesterday I spent an hour writing a letter to my husband telling him how I feel like he's emotionally abandoned me and that I want to fix it. I told him all my hopes, all my dreams, all my needs. He read it, I know because I watched him. Then he set it down and layed down on the couch and went to sleep. I went to bed alone and cried myself to sleep.
Today he called from work and made small talk about his dad's sickness and other things. When he said he was going I asked if he planned to just ignore what I had written and he said there is nothing to say and that he doesn't have the time to deal with it. I said so you're throwing our marriage away? And he said no you are. If you really can't take any more then I guess you do what you got to do. I said so a divorce is ok with you. He said it won't be easy but I can't stop you. I asked if he could live with breaking up our family and he said I was doing it not him. I started crying. I really hate to let him know he makes me cry. He said well I have to go back to work now see you later.
That was 4 hours ago and he's due home anytime now. I don't know what to do but I know I can't keep on keeping on like this. He won't go for counseling. I'm sad. I'm so sad

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yesterday I spent an hour writing a letter to my husband telling him how I feel like he's emotionally abandoned me and that I want to fix it. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I was in this place last year. Writing letters to my FWH to which he couldn't/wouldn't respond.

You don't need him to change. You don't need to decide on a divorce in the midst of your emotional train wreck.

STOP.

THINK.

ACT.

Stop focusing on him. Only focus on what YOU can change. YOU. Do what YOU need to do to FEEL good within the marriage.

Think about ONLY you. ONLY what you can control. YOU... not the marriage and NOT him.

Action. Pick three things to change... small or big... I started w/ NOT saying "I love you," going up to bed and NOT asking him if he was coming up to, and NOT calling him or ANSWERING my cell EVERY TIME he called. I QUIT talking about the marriage.

Try detaching from him w/ love. Keep focused on YOU. Wear your own backpack... let him be responsible for his.

Cali

Thanks Cali. I'm trying but it's so hard to sit and say nothing while he turns away from me. I'll try it. I'm going to read your old postings. Thanks again

((((((MJ-OH))))))

I'm sad for you, too. It's a tough spot to be in. I'm in exactly the same place.

Cali might just as well take her reply to you and copy & paste it the thread I just started, too! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Just keep coming here and remember...you are not alone!

<small>[ February 12, 2003, 06:04 PM: Message edited by: HelenWheels ]</small>