Hi Landslide,
Thanks for asking about me. As usual, my week went by in a whirlwind of work and some hair-pulling too. I teach fulltime and private classes and go to Grad school fulltime, so during the week, I literally have no life! Grrr. It will be over soon.
I had a heckuva week. Thought I was just going die on Monday, began to pull myself together on Tuesday...by Wednesday I realized God was giving me another day for a reason, so I realized that I had better wake up and do something. I decided that I can no longer focus on the problem. I am taking the Divorce Busting route of focusing totally on myself and not waiting for him. Ironically, things have been better the past couple of days.
In DB, she says do things differently. I have been without compromising myself. I no longer wait for him for dinner -- if he's not here, hey I just eat. I don't ask him where he's been...not thast he goes anywhere much. But tonight he came home and announced that he was drunk -- this from a man that NEVER drinks -- and I lost it for a moment and asked where he went, but not with whom. I then went for a sauna to relax myself.
He actually wished me a Happy Valentines day this a.m. Surprise, surprise. I had actually forgotten what day it was as I am so absent minded due to lack of sleep and stress. I happily wished it back and sent him on his way.
I am thinking of going away the last weekend in Feb for my b-day -- I desperately need some time to relax and think that it would also drive him crazy. (smile)
Let me know how you are doing -- I care. Boy last week was hard, but I have upped my prayers to more than just requests for guidance and asked God to help us continue. For the moment, I am looking forward to a quick phone call to a friend and Law and Order -- TV is a treat for me! Hope things are well with you.
1Red

Helloooooooooooo, 1Red,

Glad you're feeling better.

That's such great advice, to focus on yourself and not the problem. Putting the focus on yourself instead of the problems gives more hope I think. We can't change others, but we can change ourselves. As we change, people will change how they relate to us.

I need to look into Divorce Busting principles, sounds very appealing.

You really kept your cool when H got home. Good for you. I bet is made him suspicious.

Going away for the weekend sounds like fun. You deserve it. It will indeed drive him crazy. I picture you being transformed into a Woman of Mystery. It will drive him
nuts...wondering..."What is she up to?" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I'm hanging in there. V-day not acknowledged by H. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I sent S a package (he's in military). Gave D balloons and a card. I made H a card on the computer using some stuff I read on this board. Nothing mushy, just a reminder that I do care where this M goes.

I feel at peace with things though. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> A strange calm knowing I know the truth about him this year compared to the lies he was telling this time last year when he bought cards, flowers, balloons, etc. all just to keep up the "show."

Happy Birthday in advance. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I think you and I are both getting stronger. I don't know what is in the future, but I know I can handle it. You can too. The people in this forum are so helpful with advice they give to others. It seems we all have the same questions. I gain insight from the replies everyone gives even if I didn't start the topic.

Have a great week-end <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

In my prayers,
landslide

Hi Landslide,
Yes, I HIGHLY recommend "Divorce Remedy" by Michele Weiner -- don't get the first version -- "Divorce Busting" as it is not nearly as complete. If you really want to give your marriage all you can before you call it quits, this is the book for you. And, it will make you feel better about yourself as well if you follow the steps. It took a little while for things to sink in, but I think I have a hold on it now.
Well, H is working late and I went to the movies. Yeah last night was a bummer -- he NEVER drinks so I know he didn't just go out alone. With her? I honestly don't know...I doubt he would've mentioned it if he had. He's knows it would be asking for WWIII.
Things have actually been quite good in the past couple of days...which is what I must focus on. I was anticipating a long and stormy weekend, but thankfully I was wrong. I hope tomorrow will be the same.
Landslide, I must go. I have dilly-dallied enough today doing good things for myself when I should have been working on my thesis. Grr. Now I have to try and crank out a couple of pages before bed. Drop me a line and let me know how things are with you.
Let's both keep praying.
1Red

1Red,

Just don't work too hard.

Glad you had a good week-end so far.

You know there is church tomorrow. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> You know what I did last week....the hand shaking thing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I just get sick in my stomach when I see ow.

I'm not going to say a word if it happens tomorrow. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> H knows I disapprove, if he does it anyway, that tells me a lot.

Keep doing those good things for yourself.

Lots of prayers going up for 1Red, landslide, and everyone here,
landslide