I did the hardest thing I think I have ever done in my life. I went and signed the divorce papers yesterday. It seems like a death to me. What once was such a great marriage is now coming to a screeching halt. After I told her I did it, she said she was not going to yesterday or even today. Even though she is the one that wants the divorce she can not see herself signing the papers. I did not want to either, but I felt that I would show her just how much I love her, by granting her what she feels she needs and that is a divorce of this marriage. I'm very sad and confused. I don't know what to do next.

hi there. I saw you weren't getting any replies so I thought I'd answer you. I don't know your whole situation. are you in plan A? are you and your wife living apart? why don't you go for broke and tell her you don't want this divorce and see what she says. don't give up!

lg,
I am so sorry to hear about your divorce. Was there a reason that you went to divorce so quickly?

can you withdraw them?

Sounds like you don't want a DV. I think that NOT signing would be a strong show of love for your W. As it is, she might think you're too willing to give up.

-Qfwfq

The reason I signed the papers is because she thinks that is the only way she can see the real me. Meaning that if I'm on my own then I will be free and choose her istead of someone else. Our counselor thinks that it is a wierd way to resolve the issues, but I must do what she wants and divorce she thinks is her only option.
She said that she will sign them on Monday, she wanted to make it through the weekend incase a bolt of lighting might hit her or something. Basically it is 20 years of history and time to move forward, I can't keep up hope that some day we will reconcile, because it is divorce plain and simple.

lg...so sorry! It does feel as if a death has taken place...because there was a death...of hopes and dreams we held. Praying that as you travel your healing road you will find peace of spirit, happiness, contentment, and love.

Good Luck!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by lghoping:
<strong>The reason I signed the papers is because she thinks that is the only way she can see the real me. Meaning that if I'm on my own then I will be free and choose her istead of someone else. .</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">lg, the last time I responded to your other thread you had stated that she was angry about your affair and your lies but you "refuse to go there" and talk to her about it.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=37;t=022116

Has that changed? Have you done anything to repair the damage you did? I don't know what steps you have taken to repair the damage but if my WS had refused to talk to me about his affair because he "didn't want to go there," I wouldn't have wasted 2 seconds on him and he would be a divorced man today.

<small>[ February 21, 2003, 06:18 PM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>

MelodyLane,
I have gone there, I have cut off all tie to the OW I have started to go to church, I gave her my cell phone bill and my voice mail password. I have done all the things to show her I'm in it 100%, but she does not trust it. She has too much hurt and history in her way to see the changes now and she does not want to talk about it. She still says it is only a piece of paper, but to me it is a sign she does not want to be with me period.
Why divorce to attempt to get back, it seems like a weird solution to me. Is it her way of letting me done easy? Or does she really think there is a chance?