I was wondering if it would be okay to give my WW my copy of SAA. I would love for her to read the case study in it and have it open her eyes a little maybe. I have asked her to read a couple of little articles off this site before and she has agreed. She even said that one helped her a little bit. Also the strategy of plan A and B is in this book and I don't know if it would be a good idea to reveal this to her or not. What do you think?

I really need more information...too many stories and not enough memory up in the old brain. BUT...I would think it wouldn't be a bad thing to just leave it out on the coffee table and see if she picks it up on her own.

Starman ... Educating WS is always a LB ... how dare you judge SO that you are smarter then them and also your action could be viewed as controlling. However giving SAA in the light of her interest is not bad at all ... but she has to initiate it and let her ask you the questions not you teaching her. You could suggest it to her that this site is related to the book and if she want a copy ?. Don't even think to give your copy that has been highlighted. About your worry on planA/B ... actually the plan A part of the book is very lame and I beleive Harley's intentionally left it weak. Plan B is a bit better but when WS is in deep fog they can't see it through.

Having say this, what is your intention to give it to her ?. If you want to let her know that you are both are not unique and many traveled this road and recover their M .... give it to her. If you have any other intention you should change your expectation.

jsut my 2¢. -rh-

That was exactly my intention Redhat. I know that she is confused right now and I am too. After reading the book and the example in it it made me see things so much more clearly and actually gave me a little hope for the future. My WW is at the stage of her relationship with the OM where she is having serious guilt about being away from the kids and I thought reading this might help her understand what's going on a little. Do you think this would be okay?

Yeap, your prior post suggest that she is interested. Just mention the book to her and the ties to this site, if she ask for it then hand it to her and like any good salesman, you close it with "if you want to talk about it just call me" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . Never bring it up again unless she does ... similiar to bringing R talk.

good luck -rh-

HI Starman,

I just wanted to tell you my viewpoint, from the WS' side. I would have loved to have received the book from my exH.

I stumbled upon this website about 10 months ago. When I read the part about the FOG, I almost fell out of my chair. I saw my stories here, on the website--not the discussion area, but in the parts written about affairs, how they start, how to end them, etc. I ended R with OM in July-and insisted on NC. This NC part is so necessary!

At the risk of boring anyone here, I must again tell you that it was HARD to end the A, even though it was the right thing to do. OM had been my emotional support for years. I am not the dramatic type, when it comes to faith. When I ended it with OM, over the phone, I got off and literally FELL on my knees, begging God to help me be strong. He answered that prayer! When something is WRONG, and you know it--you simply don't want any part of it. (It just took me too long , to come out of my fog.)

You know, Starman, the whole time I was involved with OM I thought I would be back with exH someday. I know that sounds insane, but that is how I felt. Coming here and reading about affairs simply showed me in concrete written form what was going on in my twisted brain. What was so sad was I was so twisted that I thought ExH would take me back easily. Where was my thought process?

BTW, I mentioned this website to exH last June, before divorce was final. He simply said he didn't have time to look. Another time I asked him if he'd looked. He said he had but that it just made no sense to him. I won't mention it again! It's all in God's timing, not my own.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

H_P

Thank you very much hopeful person. Your perspective on this really means a lot to me. I figured out only yesterday how valuable the WS viewpoint in all this can be. God bless you and thanks again.