Am planning to reinstall home Internet service in the not-too-distant future (FWW is recovering internet addict who met OM in internet gaming) but would like to have snooper software installed first to keep an eye on FWW's internet travels. Wife is very PC literate, so I want to make sure this software wouldn't be detectable by her in any way, because she also had former internet friends who were even more pc-savvy and I don't want her to be able to detect, disable, or tamper with it in any way. In fact, if I knew for sure it was tamper-proof I would inform FWW about it to act as a deterrent. Requirements include tracking every keystroke, regardless of whether it is internet gaming or instant messenging, chat rooms, etc (Everything). It has been over 3 months since d-day and she has been a model wife since then and has convinced me she won't stray again. Also, the internet has been helpful to our 12 and 16 year old kids in term of homework assignments, etc. Currently, we take them to the public library to get this info. Your advice would be appreciated, especially those who are knowledgeable on the subject...

Hi Lions - I believe all of that snooping, logging, and filtering stuff is both detectable and vulnerable, especially if your FWW and friends are more computer-savvy than you are. Here are two suggestions:
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• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Keep the computer in a public, well-traveled area in your home. Not behind a closed door in the bedroom or study. Situate the monitor so the display is visible from all points in the room.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Check into an ISP that does filtering at the server, with no "super-user" password available to defeat it from the home computer. I found one in the yellow pages, advertised as "family oriented".</font></li>

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good luck.
Tom(1958)

Thank, tmmx. I intend to put the computer in a more public place. Are there no products out there at all that would be undetectable to a pc-savvy person??

lions,

Some real good invisible spy software for computer savvy people is Starr home version, which can be found at www.iopus.com. It costs $40 and you will need to pay for it if you decide to use it because the trial version will give a warning banner whenever the computer is restarted. It records every keystroke, both sides of IM chat, links to all websites visited and the titles of all emails opened. It is very easy to use and my computer savvy DH has never detected it.

This is very important: when you download it, select "download to disk" RATHER THAN open from website. Otherwise, it will auto install and by default it will install in non-invisible mode. After you download it, doubleclick on it to install. Select invisible mode and select "hide banner." Then go to the control panel and type in a password and click the password box. Also, change the amount of kbs to 10,000 or it will wipe out the logs daily. This way you can go there every 3rd day or so and it will all still be there. Be sure and RESTART the computer after the installation to make sure there is no warning. If there IS a warning, you will have to UNINSTALL and reinstall correctly.

I want to add that I feel like spy software saved my marriage. My H had an internet affair and the software allowed me to see FOR MYSELF that he had actually changed and was being faithful.I didn't have to live in fear and hope for the best: I KNEW he was being truthful. That $40 bought me enormous peace of mind.

<small>[ February 27, 2003, 08:45 AM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>

I've used SpectorSoft's product, SpectorPro web site. It sounds similar to Starr in terms of what it tracks, except that it also takes screenshots. But it costs $99.

I'm not sure the exact definition of "PC-savvy", but I work in IT, and if I knew monitoring software was installed, I would be able to find it and remove/disable it. Still I don't think someone who is merely PC-savvy could easily find/remove SpectorPro. However, if they knew it existed and were inclined to do the research (i.e. look for the right search utility), they could probably find it eventually.

Here's a set of reviews for this kind of software from July 2002 from PC Magazine. Reviews

Thanks MelodyLane and est. I am still shopping around and will look at the info you mentioned. My W is not an IT professional but is very bright and has taken PC courses, etc. One of her cyberfriends (who was a brief OM) even sent some encryption software, which she used at one time before telling me about it when she came clean, so I know she knows more than I do about detecting things on the PC. However, I feel confident she is walking the straight-and-narrow now by her attitude and actions over the past 3 1/2 months since D-Day and I want to show her and the kids that we can be a normal family again - including the Internet - , but I also want to verify what she is doing there without her being able to disable it for my peace of mind's sake because my W has a bit of a compulsive/impulsive side to her behavior that I still may never totally trust again and I want to nip it in the bud if it starts again. I will look into your suggestions... thanks again for helping me.

I think the way to approach this, would be to tell your wife it will be installed and to get her agreement. Maybe the continued presence of monitoring software would give you some peace of mind. If she agrees with the principle of monitoring, and then later the log disappears or something like that, you know what basically happened and the details don't matter.

But if she were to find it on her own, without your telling her, it's a lovebuster. Since you can not rely on this monitoring as an ironclad guarantee of her behavior, there is no benefit in trying to hide it from her.

- Tom

Thanks for the reply, tmmx. I know you are right about it being a lovebuster if she were to find out about the snooper software, but since she has a tendency to be more clever and deceptive than I am, I am afraid she might figure out a way to tamper with it and modify (delete) the parts she doesn't want me to see, if that is possible. I will give your suggestion some more thought however, because I truly think she is being faithful again now...

I agree that it is a huge LB for her to find out so telling her would avoid that. But, if he tells her than she will find another way to carry on an A than on the computer.

The spyware is a good way to check on her.

STTSI