How long is this going to go on ... I just don't know how much I can take I am at a point where i just feel numb not sure if its all worth it ,,, I feel like I am the only one trying my triggers are awful I see him on the internet and my blood boils and he is im people and i rage i guess my question is... shouldn't he know this would upset me so even if its innocent why do it to begin with no respect i feel or does he just not care at all not to mention he had time to wonder the net but can't seem to find the time to read the one book i asked him to surviving affair its been over a month since i asked his mom was illl and had an operation so i backed off but he did say he wanted this marriage to work and was willing to try .. where did his effort go what has he tried nothing ... he bought a beautiful diamond for valentines day says its not for valentines day and its not to make everything better it was just beacause he has wanted to do it for awhile and that i deserve to have a nice diamond (my original diamond fell out of its setting 5 years ago and he never repaired or replaced it ) When do all the q's go away why can't i stop thinking of these stupid things over and over in my head the emails what did they mean did they really get together and is he lying he lied about going to work that night and was planning on going to a concert by himself even though he bought 2 tickets .. why did he download an instant message program on his work pc he works 3rd shift who would he be iming in the middle of the night says he never used it .. then why download it to begin with ?? questions always questions you have a few good days and then the questions return am i loosing it or what ?? so sorry for rambling on and on not making much sense probably... I just want it to be over i want my buttons to stop being pushed i want the triggers to just go away i am tired of being suspicious of everything .... why do they do this to us why can't they just at least be open honest.....i am beginning to hate the person i am becoming beacuse of this . I don't like me much right now so how can he love me .... <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

<small>[ March 04, 2003, 02:51 PM: Message edited by: mystafied ]</small>