My friend has had emotional needs not being met by her H for 2 yrs, and consistently tries to get my H to recreate w/her & we both agree this is intrusive & irritating, he has ignored her & I have been firm in stating that we do all recreational activities together or he can go w/his guy friends. She has gone out w/other M men & brags about it even in front of her H! No one understands why he puts up w/this but not our business. Recently I was dx w/condition that has slowed me down & w/summer approaching she is already making noises re: "filling in" if I can't go on the motorcycle.I made clear, I thought, that it would be MY butt on the rear seat or no one's, & she says, "we'll see what J---says'! There is going to be a huge, embarrasing blow-out & I don't care who is present...how do I head her off at the pass before this takes place? You can't ignore someone if they're right in your face, can you? There's a lot more in her behaviour such as threatening other w's when their H won't co-operate, sneaking off to meet married guys(she seems to prefer older married guys)putting herH down in front of us, and MORE!

You and your husband need to be assertive. First, she is no friend and you would have to be crazy to be friends with her. End the friendship now and tell your husband to tell her he does not wish to be friends either. It is ridiculous that you would allow this women to intrude in your lives.

Thanx for the opinion, I told him I no longer considered her a friend & he said he was sorry I felt that way. But still no concrete action; he tells me he is angry w/her behaviour, she is acting like a slut, etc. but he's a firm believer in avoidance! He figures if he avoids her she'll just go away? I think not! We have been friends w/this couple for 15 yrs & our kids are all friends, they live where we summer so it's been uncomfortable for all of us when she shows up & gets into her act. Maybe I should go out for coffee w/her & explain the facts of OUR lives to her ( comment? ).I use words like "my husband", "us", "J & I","we", "ours", "together" frequently, hoping she'd get it but she doesn't! I would be so relieved to let go of this contaminated friendship!My H has not treated her any differently since this started, maybe that's the problem. She did seem to back off for a while after an invitation was made to him & he refused to answer her, but she seems to have gotten over that & we're back to square 1.Her H doesn't bother to come visit anymore w/her since he gets his a** kicked & she's like a 3rd wheel in our marriage, I'm sick of it! Maybe my H simply has to be provoked enough to produce the expolsion...and when it happens, that'll be that.
Any more suggestions?

Honestly I think your husband is disrespecting you.
It is ridiculous that you have to deal with this.
How would your husband feel if another husband kept propositioning you? Your husband needs a backbone.
I would strongly suggest you both state you do not wish to be friends period. Do not allow her to intrude in your life and threaten your marriage.
Good Luck.