I was unfaithful to my husband about seven months ago. I have told him about what has happened, because i wanted forgiveness and fo us to just be able to get on with our lives together. He has told me that he forgives me, but he acts so withdrawn some days, and then some days we have the best times. I just don't know if I can handle feeling pushed away by him. I just need someone to talk to about this or I need some suggestions on how to make things better for both of us. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

You've come to the right place. Read the material presented on the website. Would your H be willing to read it as well?

Also, are both of you open to counseling?

Has "No Contact"(NC) with OM been followed?

Without more specifics, that's the best advice I can give. Read away and then post your thoughts, questions and opinions.

My guess is that your husband is still in semi-shock and that he is suffering from depression.
Imagine what you would be feeling if the roles were reversed? What would be some of the things you would want your husband to do for you if the roles were reversed? Remember everything your husband believed in was taken away from him when he found out. I commend you for being honest with your husband. This is a real plus. Did your husband know this OM? Was he a friend? There are a lot of factors that probably play in his depression. It is estimated it takes at a minimum of two years for many spouses to get over an affair committed by their spouse. I wish you luck.

I am the husband whose wife was unfaithful. I caught them 7 months ago. I know what your husband is feeling. I want our m to work but now matter how hard I try the image and thoughts of them together creep back into my mind. Some days are better than others. I commend you for telling your husband. I wish my situation was like that. I want things to be better but it is hard to understand "WHY". All I can tellyou is keep letting your husband know how much you love him because that helps me get through the tough times. They do get less frequent but can appear at any time. I never know what will trigger mind. Good luck

I betrayed my husband, and we are coming up on 2 yrs. of recovery this summer. If you want an inspiration success story read my update that I posted today:

My update

I know exactly what you are experiencing. Understand, that chances are you DH DOES forgive you, but forgetting is another story. Don't ask him to forget, just allow it to take it's course. The best you can do is answer any and all of his questions, openly and honestly. As much as some of the answers may hurt, he will respect and admire the fact that you care enough to answer them. If you don't know the WHY of your affair, find it and share it with him. Chances are that he will never understand it fully as he didn't do it and probably wouldn't.

Know it's ok to not always have the answers, but at least let him know if you don't, don't just not say anything. That looks bad. Be understanding to his feelings and really truly listen. Don't defend or counter, acknowledge. You may not always agree, or you may feel he interpreted something differently then you had intended, but acknowledge that you see how he would/could feel that way, and then explain further how you see it. It's ok to see things differently, but as long as you both feel safe to discuss that with eachother, that's the important part.

Reassure him each and every time he needs it. Do little things to show him you love him - plan a candle lit dinner, dance under the stars to your favorite song (wear a dress for this). Reexplore the intimacy in your marriage and do it together.

The road ahead will be long and bumpy, but remember that 2 steps forward and 1 back is still progress. Be patient and know that the end result is well worth it. It's a lot of work, but I promise you it does get better.

My best to you. You are on the right track here, and the people here are a wonderful source of support and help. Hang in there. Take care, and good luck rebuilding your marriage.

Listen to princess for she KNOWS what she talks aboout.