Since I last posted "HOW DO YOU GET YOUR<BR>HUSBAND TO ADMIT HE HAD AN AFFAIR", I am<BR>convinced there is even more going on.<BR>I believe that the person he had the affair<BR>with is working in the same building which he and I do. I also do not blaim her. I truly<BR>believe that if you don't want to have an<BR>affair you don't. Now, he is cruising for<BR>another affair, if not already having one.<BR>He hasn't had intimacy with me for five days,<BR>and last week, the same thing. He comes<BR>home late. Always having stopped somewhere<BR>and purchased something. Never from the <BR>same place. He has a restored Vette, and he<BR>insisted on driving it to work over the <BR>weekend. He knew I wouldn't ride with him,<BR>because it heats up inside so bad, it almost<BR>burns my legs. I drove the other car. After<BR>work, he wanted to go to the Sunday car cruise which is held at "Woody"s" bar and<BR>restaurant. This happens after work each<BR>Sunday. This past Sunday, we were supposed<BR>to go out to dinner at another restaurant.<BR>He said, "Instead of you going to the <BR>cruise, why don't you just go on home and<BR>freshen up, and I'll meet you there." I<BR>said that was ok, I would just follow him<BR>to the cruise. (I have always followed him<BR>in the other car in the past from work).<BR>While following behind him, I relised that<BR>he had deliberately not turned where we <BR>should have, but was continuing on home. <BR>I couldn't believe he didn't want me to go <BR>with him. When I confronted him, he simply<BR>refused to talk, other than yelling "Shut<BR>The blank Up! He was late, by two hours, <BR>coming home again today. He deliberately<BR>started an argument, then when he went to<BR>bed, he told me to sleep on the sofa. <BR>It is quite clear that when the mood strikes,<BR>he wants me. Otherwise, he is verbally abusive, and physically unattainable. It's as though he is purposefully trying to hurt me every way he<BR>can.

I'm sorry - maybe your husband has decided that a good offense is a good defense, with his over reacting LB?<P>Is he punishing you for getting to close to the truth? Or is he angry with you because you aren't riding with him in the Vette? <P>Does he have a need for recreational companionship? Do you think he is cheating again? If so, how can you confirm it?<P>If he is acting like he is, and your gut tells you he is currently doing so - try to find out. Journal what happens, but whatever you do, do not lovebust.<BR>

My husband was very, very verbally abusive, irritable and just a pain in the @$$ to be with when he started his affair. Be extremely careful if you think it could turn into physical abuse as well.

Are you seeing a counselor? One for yourself if he will not go? This is all too tough to try and handle by yourself, even though this site is so supportive. I haven't tried Steve Harley, but those who have say he is wonderful.<P>If you can't make the counseling happen, read, read, read. SURVIVING THE AFFAIR by Harley, AFTER THE AFFAIR by Springs, DIVORCE BUSTING by Weiner-Davis, TORN ASUNDER by CARDER, YOUR HUSBAND's MIDLIFE CRISIS by Conway.<P>Good luck.