Finally decided to leave kids in school where WW and OM work, but told WW I wanted NC - meaning she would have to leave her job. Exploded. Screamed at me at top of lungs.

Found out she went out to OM's place and just sat in car - but I'm pretty sure she knew he wasn't going to be there. But she stayed long enough that I'm thinking that she was hoping he'd show up.

Then she called him later while I was on way home from work.

Should I confront her with this? Or just keep on plan A'ing???

Zaed

<small>[ March 05, 2003, 10:47 AM: Message edited by: Zaed ]</small>

Anyone? Please?

Plan AAAAAAAA

Express how wonderful it is to have her return home .... even tho she is having a very difficult time emotionally.

Be THE ONE who understands ....... pamper her ..... and tell her you are "there" for her in her hour of need.

Don't discuss the phone call ....hold your tongue.

Pepper

Why??

I'm more worried about the visit to his house ... seems she was hoping he might show before she had to get the kids. I actually believe that he won't do it again though. Funny, eh?

Should I really hold it all in?? Why?

If YOU were confused, lost, and feeling empty inside ..... what environment would you run toward seeking relief?

This doesn't mean you'll accept this WW stuff forever ... but, there is a crack in her wall .... if you appear to be warm, loving, and determined to be a MAN among men ..... then, she may become smarter and choose to straighten herself out.

Confronting an emotional and out of control 3-year-old with logic and information isn't the best approach. Put away your logic and information, and speak to the hurt inside your wife. At least for now.

That's my opinion .... and I've been wrong many a times! LOL! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Thank you Pepperband! Sounds like really good advice.

I'm going to try to take her to lunch today and let it ride. Be a MAN among men. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I think that's part of what she's missing actually. I'm too laid back and have let her make too many decisions for too long.

It was the first contact she had like that with OM since two weeks after D-DAY. So she's done pretty well. And I believe it's over, especially from OM's side - doesn't want all the trouble. But she is still pretty addicted and I'm sure it hurts her that he isn't responding to her the way she wants.

Thanks again!

Zaed

Zaed:

This is all pretty new to you and your W. It's quite a shock to learn of a betrayal like that. BUT, the best thing you can possibly do for your M right now is look deep inside yourself and focus on what attracts you to your W in the first place. Try to put aside concerns over contact, what she may or may not have done with the OM, and focus on the love you have for her. She's hurting perhaps as much as you are, but you have the resources to help her probably better than she can help herself. That's a helluva position of responsibility, you know.

Setbacks will occur. It's how you handle yourself and deal with the setbacks that will determine how successful your M is from this point on. Take it from me. I let the setbacks drag me down far too many times in the past, and that's slowed my progress considerably.

All my best,
-Qfwfq