My first topic "Four Lovers & A Baby" refers.

This was posted last week on the "Just Found Out" Section.

I have received a lot of advice from hurt husbands, mostly encouraging me to send my WW packing.

This I do not wish to do as I love my wife dearly and wish to try and make things work out (unless of course she should decide to break her promises to me and revert)

We are now both checking the postings (at my suggestion) and feel that some opinions from former WW's, who managed to put things right, might be helpful for us to get to the root cause and avoid any future temptations.

I still feel that maybe my preoccupation with work and subsequent evening tiredness may have driven her to seek friendship and subsequent amusement elsewhere, but as yet she has not told me this ... or for that matter any other explanation.

So your experiences re : why it started, who was to blame, how it finished, how you prevented temptation, did it work out etc., would be helpful.

Since right now both of you are in a farther part of the world, you may not get any responses at this moment. I would suggest that you wait patiently for at least 10 hours for advise to appear from the other folks here.

I am a FWS - although my situation was somewhat different from your WW.

I think what she is asking is unrealistic. It took me many months of IC and deep self examination to find out how I could have let my H down and, more importantly myself. I abhor the notion of infedility - still do, and can't believe I choose that route.

Only your W can work out what took her on such a destructive path, and whether or not she can truly work it out to the point that is acceptable to you - by that I mean whether you can forgive her, whether you can start to trust her again etc.
Also, if she is truly remorseful and regrets her actions like many FWS here she will struggle. I went through many painful months of self loathing and disgust where I couldn't even bear to look at myself in a mirror because I hated myself so much.
I cried every day for about 6 months.

I think that MC for both of you is crucial and your WW may also want to consider IC.

I also agree with the people here that suggest you should both be tested for STDs.

Finally, your WW is very very lucky indeed that you have been so generous and are prepared to work with her. There are some of us here (me, Kily, Hopeful_Person, Jen Brown) whose H's are not interested anymore.

I wish you well, it will be a long and difficult journey.

Lisa

Yes you are very lucky that things can work out between the 2 of you, because I know my marriage will never work out after last night.