A friend of mine called my cousin, who also happens to be my best friend and told him that he thought me and my WW were back together. Well soon my whole family knew about it and I got a call from my Mother. It made me realize just how hard the rest of my family is going to take this if my wife and I get back together again. I don't know that they will ever forgive her or that it will ever be comfortable for us to be around them again. I have a very close family but my marriage comes first. How do those of you with this experience handle your family?

I told my family and friends that it was important to me, that I do my best to make my M work. I explained how I believed in my marriage vows, and that I still loved my H. I was also upfront (possibly to the point of lecturing about M <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ) in telling others about how I too, had made mistakes in the M, not just H. And that I wanted to change my behaviours to improve myself, and hopefully my M too.

They hated the thought of seeing me hurt again... and I think that is why they were so against my reconciliation with my H. But you know what? Thanks to MB, I really do know that I did my best to save my M. And you know what's even better? My friends and family now commend me for trying as much as I did. And another good thing that's come out of all of this... I'm not nearly as down as I was when we were apart before, b/c I've grown and matured.... again, I thank MB for that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Dr. Harley explains to us that it's important that we put our spouse above all others. It is a VITAL move in any M or R. If your family cannot understand that, then it is sad that they are being so closed-minded. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> But then again... although they may not know how to put it all in non-LBing formats... they only want was is best for you. And right now, they THINK that means keeping away from your W.

Karen

My family is trying to be supportive of me, but their general opinion is I should go ahead and agree to divorce.

My parents are afraid that if we do get back together, my WW will be too ashamed to ever come around them again. When grandchildren enter the picture, that would kill them.

But I've told them all I have to give my marriage every chance, and put everything into it I can. They respect my choice and will support me as best they can without agreeing.

I can only speak for myself, but for me what I call "Lack of Protection" is a big LB. My H has always let his family talk me down, even right to my face and has never done anything about it. As we proceed through MC, I have told him that although it is not on the list, Protection is one of my biggest emotional needs and it hurts me when he doesn't stand up for me.

In all instances, protect your W from your family's wrath. I realize that they are trying to protect you, but W is part of you and they must protect her as well from harm....just as they would do for you no matter what you had done.