JG,
No, I didn't have to testify. She pled guilty (though initially she pled not quilty then changed her plea) b/c she knew we had her. All the evidence was there. I did fax a 3 page correspondence to the Judge several days prior to the trial date though outlining all that had happened. In court he acknowledged that he had read it and thanked me for it. Though her punishment wasn't that much (with it being first offense), he was pretty harsh on her verbally. I too dreaded the court date, was worried about having to testify, having to face her again. As a matter of fact a friend gave me a nerve pill that I took that morning before going to court. She actually gave me two and I took one several days before just to see what it would do to me, b/c I didn't want to go in there and be all dopey. Actually, and I don't know if maybe the pill helped, but I was fine, better than I imagined I would be. I think the anticipation of it was worse than the actual event. You'll be fine, JG, really you will. Remember, you are not the one on trial, she is.

Something I didn't tell you before is that my H was 36 at the time of the A, OW was 18 (she's 20 now). I am a year older than my H. When they first met, she was a delivery person who delivered parts to his business. She went through about 3 other jobs though in the 8 mos. they were together. She was young but "rough" if you know what I mean, very "street-wise". She has been out of her parents home for a couple of years. Her mother told me she hadn't been able to do anything with her for a couple of years now. She fools with drugs, has been in trouble with the law. She's defiant, manipulative and vindictive and will stop at nothing (including breaking the law) to get what she wants. I told my H I feel kinda sorry for someone who will go to such extremes (including blackmailing a person) to hang on to someone, anyone who pays her the least bit of attention, BUT it is hard to feel sorry for someone who will put you through such HELL and just keep on and keep on. Everyone has their limits, ya know. She was relentless in pursuing him (of course I'm not putting all the blame on her. He is a grown man, he could have said no. He has certainly had to bear a large portion of the responsibility). She called him at work after meeting him and asked if he was married, which I think sparked his curiosity. He told her he was. She still continued to flirt, let him know she was available to him, asked him to lunch, asked him to fix a problem with her car. Any excuse she could find to come around, she did. He made the mistake of "crossing the line". Once he did, it was too late. By the time he got to know her better, and she became more and more demanding, he wanted out, but she wouldn't let him go. As I said, she continually threatened to expose the A to me, and he was so sure I would leave him as I had always said I would if he ever became physically involved with someone else. It was a bad situation that he got himself into and couldn't figure out how to get out of. A real nightmare.

Once the A was exposed, he has been nothing but remorseful and willing to do anything it takes to repair the marriage and help me get through this. He told her in my presence on D-day that he loved me, didn't love her and never did, and hoped that someday I could find in my heart to try and forgive him. Well, I can tell you, that did a lot for me toward recovery.

Again, I wish you luck with the court date. Don't stress too much over it. I'm sure it will be okay.

--Almost There

^^Bump! Bump!

Good luck tomorrow! I'll be thinking of you. Let me know how it goes ASAP, okay.

Almost There

Sorry it got postponed. I know you really wanted to get it over with and start to put this behind you. Hang in there, next week will be here soon enough. Try not to worry yourself in the meantime and remember, she's got to be more worried about what will happen than you are - this will prolong the agony for her. When we had our court date, OW came in with dark rings around both eyes like she hadn't slept in weeks. OHHHH!!! Too bad!!! Guess she got what was coming to her with all the nights she kept us awake ringing our da*n telephone and then hanging up.

Almost There

<small>[ April 08, 2003, 06:20 PM: Message edited by: Almost There ]</small>

Hey JG,
Just wanted to wish you luck tomorrow! Let me know how it goes. Thinking of you.

Almost

Court in t-minus 7 1/2 hours. Yeah <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

We are hoping that we don't have to wait a long time and that it doesn't drag out all day long.

We'll see.

Gotta go and get in some good quality snuggle time in (and try to get some sleep).

We'll keep everyone current with the trial.

I Love My Pookey. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My H and I actually sat in the same hallway as OW and we had fun. Mainly laughing at her sorry A**.

On a side note. . . she looked like s**t. I didn't remember what she looked like but now I remember how unattractive that she is. I always see beauty from the inside that radiates the outside. She doesn't have any.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Jazzey,
I could have written this EXACT statement myself about OUR day in court with the OW. We sat two rows in front of her and over just slightly. H and I were both in quite a "jovial" mood (nervousness probably), smiling, joking around. She looked like HE##. Big dark rings around both eyes, like she hadn't slept in weeks. OH WELL, she did it to herself.

Sounds like things went pretty well for you today. Be sure to post and let us know the outcome of the court's decision. Maybe then you can put some closure on this and get on with the task of recovery.

Good luck to you!
Almost

Jazz & WMP,

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> for both of U.

Jazz, U rock.

L.

Funny, JG, my H didn't look at the OW in court either. Said he never made eye contact with her, though she and I made eye contact SEVERAL times. Wonder why it is that our H's didn't want to look at them? When we got up to leave the courtroom she just stared at me. I told my H to take a long hard look at her. Was she really worth everything we have been thru? Still he didn't really look at her, not directly anyway. Think he's just ashamed and embarrassed about his part in the whole situation.

The anticipation of our "day in court" was actually much worse than the actual event. I worried and worried about how I would feel that day, how it would all go. Thought I'd be a nervous wreck, angry, upset. When the day actually arrived I was actually much calmer than I expected and was in a relatively good mood. Funny how things turned out. Glad your day went well.

Almost

<small>[ April 17, 2003, 12:19 PM: Message edited by: Almost There ]</small>

JG,
Thought of you today (the arraignment & all). By the way, there's someone on the Recovery Board by the name of "georgie girl" who's still having harrassment problems with the OW almost a year after D-day. Just thought you'd like to know.

2Hearts

Jazzeygirl,

Please forgive me if someone has mentioned this.

I do not, for one second side with an OP. They are hideous for what they do to BS's (and WS's for that matter).

And any thoughts I have hereafter, do not at all suggest that you should not be careful. I just hope to help you gain some insight (if you haven't already).

Your DD is 4? Do you think that's a coincidence? Perhaps your H had such painful feelings for her loss. He felt good to be able to identify with someone to help them. He has great mercy for people, doesn't he?

Would you not be a little off kilter if you lost your DD? I can imagine that this woman is hurting so badly. Then, to have a relationship with someone who has helped you through such a time of grief, and then to lose that person, after you have lost someone so dear as a child... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Pity her.

The ones I do NOT at all understand are the sister and the two guys. What would they have lost? Probably nothing much at all, except the sister losing a niece...nothing to do with your H.

What a terrible situation you are in. Protect your family, certainly.

Is there any way you can leave town? Is there any way to do that without her being able to find you?

Perhaps you can request from the judge that she get grief support...or mental treatment. She is a wounded soul, and very sick right now.

I wish I had something more to offer you, but that's all that came to mind when I read your initial post.

BTW, Zorweb is a pal of mine and I see she's responded to you. I'm just sure that you've gotten at least some great support from the people here.

Blessings, safety and security to you.

Petals