Does anyone else believe in fate? How much of life do you think we control and how much do you think fate controls? <BR>A friend of mine told me today, that what ever will be will be. And that made me think about fate. I know things happen for a reason, and some things happen for no reason. I guess I am trying to figure out why this is happening to me, us. I am searching for answers.<P>------------------<BR>That which does not kill us, will make us stronger.<BR>* Viki<P>

In certain cases I believe in fate, but not when it comes to marriage! Fate doesn't split up a union. Marriage is hard work, if you want results you must be willing to do what ever it takes to achive what you're after. I'll give an example.<BR>Almost 6 years ago I started my own company, in the first 3 years I wanted to give up many times. But I refused to fail. Because I hung in there, I was able to develope a company that now makes big bucks. <BR>That can apply to marriage too! Don't except what life hands you. If you don't like what you see, determine what needs to be done to achive what you want, then go for it. Don't stop until you achive it. Usually it's the hard road to follow, but when you arrive, the rewards are much higher. Hope I helped!

Didn't read your profile until I had already sent the first reply. I've gone through much of what you discribed. And I didn't change things until I first changed myself. First, you have to pick yourself up out of the mud, I know thats very hard to do. But excepting depression and that way of life, won't help you or your marriage. Make yourself start eating, get out, go shopping or whatever, I found sitting around made me worse. Get yourself together, You'll never prove to your husband that he made a wrong choice as long as you are down. Show him you can be Fun Again. <BR>Also if you havn't already, read all of Harley's principles on this web site, and start putting them into action. Once you've done all that, you must prove to your husband that you are your old self again. If your husband has any integrity at all, he will see that you are sincere, and may see what he did wrong...It's not easy, but who ever said life was easy! Keep us updated.

I believe in fate when it comes to weather & freak disasters.<P>However, when it comes to people, I believe in choices. BUT every person on earth has choices and another person's choice to drive drunk may end my or my child's life. And unfortunately, one bad choice followed by another, like my H's decision to dance with an attractive co-worker and email her that next week with a joke led to a year and a half of hell for me. That's not fate. Of course the day he told me he was "unhappy" I could have said, "me too, let's divorce". Instead I chose to keep my commitment to my marriage even in the face of his leaving me and infidelity and now wanting a divorce.<P>Viki, you are making choices. I know I often feel powerless, but there are doors you are keeping open and doors you are keeping shut. It's just frustrating when you're pounding on a door you want open and your H seems to be pressing/locking it shut.<P>Make some good choices today.<BR>

I definitely think fate played a hand in my discovering the affair. OW's H called to confront my H and he happened to be out of the office for something really strange that just popped up out of the blue. The call was routed to me (also strange) and I just knew something was up when I heard his voice. I had never met him or talked to him before and he was very reluctant to tell me anything until I voiced my suspicions. I will always believe it was fate that intervened. I believe I was made aware of what was going on so that I may have the chance to work on my marriage which is going very well now. Go with your gut instincts but don't rule out fate helping you out if it is meant to be.

Yes, I agree whole heartedly with Zombie. I think fate is there to intervene in the inappropriate action we as people do. It is wise and sees how we really need to react to things and then points this out. Sometimes unfortunately fate has to hit us over the head with a frying pan for us to go the direction we are meant to!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<BR>