MIL eviction is May 23 and the house that SNL is living in, that is MIL's, is now getting painted on the inside. MIL is ordering the flooring, cupboards, formica and SNL has a guy doing the painting. Also, the guy is suppose to put the walls up that need to be built, and the one bathroom that is gutted, to rebuild that bathroom and put the tub and toilet in and sink. MIL is still apprehensive, but I am trying to put her in the right track and say go forward. I know why she is not giving it 100% move forward, cause husband procrastinated for so long. But husband seems to be happier now. Cause he is good at designing homes and remodeling. He doesn't like doing the work, but laying the paperwork out and being the one in charge.

Hopefully, she will be in her house by June 1, and then she can feel better, and have a better attitude. She deserves to have a nice home to live in. She deserves this at her age of 71. Guess this is something that I will have to look at too. Since our divorce is so ugly, and my hsuband has really sucked me dry. I have no money, and still have the lawyer to pay, and other things. Not working, still going to physical therapy, and trying to work some outside. I am left with the house to complete, and the lawn and yard to do.

MIL has the yard to do at the house too, but I really can't help her with that. I am so busy here, with trying to do anything, and it takes me so long. But I can emotionally give her the thumbs up, and she is really into picking out colors and materials.

Thank you SNL for getting your mother into the house. I appreciate it, and your mother seems to be happier with the designing of your color scheme and picking out moldings and cupboards. I wish I could help her more, but I have so little energy, and things are not getting done here like I would like to. I just don't have the energy anymore. And I can't seem to do much without giving in to pain in the back and neck and shoudler.

Just an update, and our divorce is not final yet. Should be next month. But who knows. I was ready for it to be over when we went on the Monday, and husband didn't show up because he didn't know. So now we have to go to mediation. I am so sick of this, and broke. I have no money, and my lawyers want more. I have to tell them, I can't give them anymore. I am broke. And then we have to go to mediation again. I don't want to do this anymore. I just want the divorce final. And forget anything else.

Maybe I can move in with my MIL. Who knows. I just don't have anymore $$$. Husband took what I had to buy the house in Arizona, and the stocks. Which he gets to keep. All for my getting something out of this divorce. If I had to do this again, I would of gone with a mediator. The lawyers are eating me alive. Maybe they should finish me off, and I could be burned to ashes. I don't know, but I can't give them any money if I don't have it. Even went grocery shopping today. And I had $10 dollars left. I got a big bag of noodles, and a small bag of lemons. I like lemon in my water to drink. One little treat. Plus I made a big pot of homemade chicken soup. Needed noodles to go with the soup.

Back to MIL. Her house is looking really nice. The painter is doing a great job. And SNL is doing a fine job. I am trying to sell things here. This guy is coming this weekend and he is suppose to give me Money for the 2 old vans in the yard. I think these were put under my name. So I should get this money. I won't tell the lawyers. Cause I need grocery money. Cause we valued them at 0$'s. And our son needs some clothes and a pair of shoes for his trip with the school.

Well, I never thought I would be in this despair.

What a place for a woman of my age. I am a thrifty person. And I did some dumpster diving again today. Found some good items to sell. Will go out early tomorrow and see if I can find anything else. Mother in law knows I do this, and she thinks this is fine. But I can't make a living at this. Well, God will provide. And maybe right now I am to downsize to the barest of minimum. Then I could live in a tent over the summer. That would be economical. And I love camping. SNL and I did a lot of that, and we had a good time. So maybe I will do this by myself now. And sleep with the stars. And make love to the stars. That was the greatest peace with SNL, we would make love under the stars. I loved it, and he loved it. He would ask if I wanted to go in the back yard. And I knew what he wanted. And I was all to ready to go. Just being out there. And seeing the stars, and the crickets, and of course the mosquitoes could leave. But having the wind stir across your body. Ohhh... so refreshing. And so sensual.

I seem to get off track. But I wanted all of you to know MIL should be out by June 1 and that is good. God is taking good care of her.